Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail for October 28, 2011
by Jen Wilcher

“The cat sat on the mat is not a story. The cat sat on the other cat’s mat is a story.” – John le Carre

We had two new people join us, Jessie and Kat.

Terry Hoffman, The Great Tome
Terry explained that now Rachel is home and discovering the tome.
Cole suggested that there should be a little more description of where we are at the beginning of the section. The reader needs a better sense of place, a segue between the last section and this section. More of a description of Rachel at home. Katelin asked for more clarity of what is meant by “touch by rocks.” Terry meant the leather tooling on the book and will fix the description. Jen suggested explain what is meant by “Y” and Terry responded that it meant “YMCA” and would adjust the sentence. Holly asked about the “I’m on my knees” note, is this literal? Terry said that she is on her knees on the bed, to show surprise and maybe it needs a better description. Holly brought up some of the descriptions in the section as wonderful. Cole asked about the sentence that ends “…my eyes as if-.” He thought it was an error. Terry explained that the character was quickly switching from one thought to another. Jen suggested that she put the two sentences on two separate lines to strengthen the feeling of a switch in thought. Several asked Terry to explain how the main character wanted a baby, but no relationship. But then it appears that when she met Doug, they lived together and then even married. Holly and others in different ways, suggested that the paragraph be a little more descriptive as to what her feelings were. Kat asked about the writing and does it disappear. Terry explained how the writing appears and doesn’t disappear until the situation resolved. Holly suggested that Rachel be presented more obviously as a strong, independent woman so that when she starts unraveling over the book, it is understood that it is the stress of the book that is making her seem more vulnerable.

Cole Ruby, Champions
Cole described the scene the scene that he wants feedback on. Allysandra is conducting an autopsy on a body that died in a mysterious way. Jen liked the story and wanted to know what’s going on more via showing versus telling. She suggested that Cole show through Ally’s body language more what she’s feeling. Holly asked typically with Jane Doe’s, the pathologist doesn’t have the medical records so why is Ally mentioning this as a source of frustration? The group went back and forth on whether that point was needed. Jen asked what is porphyria. Cole said it is one of the medical conditions that some have speculated could explain vampirism. He said that he went back and forth on whether bringing up that condition is too obvious a pointer towards vampirism. He wants the idea of vampires to come out later in the story. Holly said that Allysandra still seems too whiny and acts too much like a guy still. For example, when she is frustrated, as a scientist and a female, why would she want to sucker-punch the corpse? She also said that since Ally is a physician and scientist, wouldn’t she be more intrigued and challenged at this point with the autopsy versus annoyed by the dead-ends? Jen liked the last sentence, that the corpse seemed to mock her, and also suggested that Cole makes sure that the character turns off the Dictaphone after using it. Katelin suggested that he could just write “click” to denote that happening.

Take-aways from Madison Book Festival’s writer’s group workshop:
Holly talked about what Carol and she learned at the Book Festival’s writer’s group workshop such as various ways to conduct the meeting and how to welcome new people to the group. She said that Carol will bring up with the group some ideas for discussion and ask the group to develop ground rules. The group liked the idea of discussing ground rules and other ways the group operates.

FYI . . .
MATC is creating an online directory of writers groups. Tuesdays with Story will be listed.

Write a novel in 30 days . . .
Yes, November is National Novel Writing Month, your opportunity to write a novel – well, at least 50,000 words of it – and get some cool recognition.

If you are a NaNoWriMo alum – a number of our writers are – it’s time to go again, time to once more jump in with all 10 fingers on the keyboard.

If you’ve never done NaNoWriMo before, or maybe you’ve never heard aboutof it until today, you, too, should jump in. Here’s the link that will give you all the details: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Who’s up next . . .
November 1: Rebecca Rettenmund (journal entry), Pat Edwards (poems), Barb Sorensen (???), Robert Grey (???), Liam Wilbur (chapter, Scott & Rory), Jerry Peterson (chapters 17-18, Thou Shalt Not Murder), and riding alternate Jim Cue (short story).
November 8: Jack, Holly, Terry, Cole and room for one or two more.
November 15: Judith McNeil (???), Aaron Boehm (screenplay/part 13, Hell Cage), Jim Cue (short story, if not critiqued on 11-1), Millie Mader (chapter 30, Life on Hold), Greg Spry (chapter 14, Beyond Cloud Nine), John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold), and riding alternate Jerry Peterson (chapters 19, Thou Shalt Not Murder

FIFTH TUESDAY – November 29, 2011
Were you born in a barn? Fifth Tuesday will be held in a barn – on Hickory Knoll Farm, courtesy of Jack Freiburger. Don’t worry, he promises it will be warm!

The writer’s challenge, therefore, has an equine theme: 250 words about anything equine! Rewrite a scene from your own story from a horse’s point of view. Bring Mr. Ed forward to the future. Invent a herd of equine vampires… Try to include the word “whip” at least once!

Keep it short and sweet and send it to chornung88@aol.com. Working on a prize to be awarded for the best entry – watch this space!

In the meantime, think about what you’d like to bring! We’ll need some of the usual items: paper plates, cups, forks/spoons/knives, napkins, soda, ice, coffee. And, of course, a dish to pass. We’ve already been promised mulled cider and “cowboy pie” (a southwestern twist on shepherd’s pie).

Please let Carol Hornung know what you are bringing (see above address) and hope to see you there!

Other business
– Editors for Writers Mail:
. . . October – Jen Wilcher
. . . November – Pat Edwards
. . . December – Clayton Gill
. . . January – Liam Wilbur