Tuesdays with Story
WRITERS MAIL for September 8, 2011
Writer’s Quote
“If I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad.” – Lord Byron
Tuesday Night at BN (1st & 3rd):
Chapter 10 of Beyond Cloud Nine, Greg Spry
The group made the following comments and recommendations: Reference the ceiling prior to the stickers on the ceiling. Otherwise, the reader may confuse the stickers with an actual setting in space. Maya’s radiating heat gave some people the impression that she was sick, when in fact she’s just a warm little kid. Between her warmth and the fuzziness of her pajamas, the heat should be mentioned first. Since Maya is 3-4 years old, she should speak in more complete sentences using the word “I.” This works out perfectly since I want to enhance Maya’s character to be more of a child prodigy. I need to clarify that Marie’s dorm room-like futon isn’t a Japanese futon. Would they still even have futons in the future? The group found the monster scan entertaining. There was no need to use the word “tiny” in front of the word footboard. Brooke should trip over the stuff animal prior to reaching the bed. As a fighter pilot, Brooke faces death all the time, which would influence her perspective on religion. Work this into the story better. Over 200 years in the future, would some of these religious questions be answered? Mention that Professor Kevin Sommerfield works at CERN and made the FTL breakthrough there. Evolve all pop culture. “Holo Kitty” and “The Little Spaceship that Could” were good examples of change, but keeping Winnie the Pooh the same as in modern times didn’t work as well. More than one person wondered where Maya was while Marie and Brooke went to church.
IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT, by Jim Cue
I received comments ranging from delete the first four paragraphs to make them in the present tense. Some of the other dozen people at the meeting liked the opening, some didn’t…the most common observation was that I’d mixed tenses where it was uncalled for.
My Demon-spawn monsters weren’t detailed enough for some.
I was told that in one scene, where the Princess gets face to face with her rescuer that I’d written a speech, not a dialog…. Duh…. (I’ve had women get on my case before, and believe you me, there’s NO back and forth dialog involved!)
One person writes (on the pages I’d handed out) that I should show more & tell less. That comment I’m taking to heart!
I believe, had the group all read the full story online, that the critiques would have been more focused, and in some cases, more relevant.
All in all, I feel that the comments I received were more helpful than not.
Chapter 8 of Final Stronghold by John Schneller stimulated a discussion about bears. Do they disturb the reader when they are not cuddly? Liam pointed out that their omnivore lifestyle makes them a candidate for unreliable behavior. John discussed his goal to confuse the reader, along with the protagonist, as to who can be trusted. While some readers are tolerant (as friends to the author) with the questions of contacts and alliances, the author thinks it is time for a critique of the overall flow. Sometimes we lose continuity by reading a chapter once every 4 to 6 weeks, but character recognition and purpose in the story-line need to be clear.
Who’s Up Next?
September 13: Holly Bonnicksen-Jones (Coming Up For Air) and Terry Hoffman (The Great Tome), Cole Ruby (Champions). Room for three more! Contact Carol at chornung88@aol.com if you want to read!
September 20: Kim Simmons (more of chapter 1 rewrite, City of Summer), Pat Edwards (poems), Judith McNeil (???), Aaron Boehm (screenplay/part 11, Hell Cage), Millie Mader (chapter 28, Life on Hold), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 15-16, Thou Shalt Not Murder).
October 4: Rebecca Rettenmund (journal entry), Greg Spry (chapter 11, Beyond Cloud Nine), John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold), Jennifer Hansen (chapter 4, Shadows of Yesterday), Liam Wilbur (chapter, Scott & Rory), and Jim Cue (part 2, short story).
Writer’s Mail: Duty Roster
Bring your own perspective to Writers Mail: Become an editor for a month. Here’s our roster to date:
October – Need somebody!
November – Need somebody else!
December – Clayton Gill
January – Welcome the new year!
Please let Carol know the month of Writers Mail you’d like to edit. Thanks and write again!
Short story contest
If you have not yet been published and you’re willing to try your keyboard at writing a mystery, crime or thriller short story – no more than 5,000 words – here’s an opportunity for you.
Love is Murder, a mystery writers conference held in Chicago in February, is sponsoring a short story contest. The best story will be published in the conference’s program guide.
The rules are simple:
– You must be unpublished.
– Your story must be in the crime, suspense, thriller, or horror genres.
– 5,000 words maximum. No minimum.
– Your manuscript must be double-spaced and in 12-point Times New Roman font. The pages must be numbered. The cover sheet must include your name and contact information (especially your e-mail address).
– Put the TITLE of your story at the top of page 1 or in the header (after the cover sheet), but do not put your name and contact information on any page except the cover page. That way the judges will not know who wrote the stories until after the judging is finished.
Mail three copies of the manuscript to Susan Gibberman, Love is Murder Short Story Submissions, Schaumburg Township District Library, 130 South Roselle Road, Schaumburg, IL 60193, by October 15. The winner will be announced in November.
And here’s another opportunity for you
James Strauss, who writes for House and several other television shows – and also writes his own series of mystery novels – will share what he’s learned about writing at Booked for Murder on Friday evening, October 21.
The event, open to everyone, is a part of a meeting of the Midwest chapter of the Mystery Writers of America the store will host that night. It starts with pizza and beer at 6:30.
What Strauss will share will benefit you whatever genre of fiction you’re writing – guaranteed – whether you’re writing novels, short stories, or film or television scripts.
The next day, October 22, the store will host Legends of the Fall, a daylong series of author events presented by mystery and crime writers from around the Midwest.
A word from Katelin Cummins:
I want to share titles of a couple books on writing that I’m finding helpful.
Story Engineering by Larry Brooks
From the back of the book: Story Engineering starts with the criteria and the architecture of storytelling – the engineering and design of a story – and uses it as the basis for narrative. . . . You’ll learn to wrap your head around the big picture of storytelling at a professional level through a new approach that shows how to combine these six core competencies which include: four elemental competencies of concept, character, theme, and story structure (plot); two executional competencies of scene construction and writing voice.
Plot verses Character by Jeff Gerke
From the back of the book: This hands-on guide to creating a well-rounded novel embraces both of these crucial story components.
My description: If you are weak in either plot or character development, read this and learn how to do the one you’re bad at with all the tools from the other that you are already good at! I’ve found the character half very helpful and I am about to read the plot half.
Also, I recently found this website, and I think it’s fun to browse. I thought others might enjoy it too. TV Tropes is a wiki for often used film and literary devices.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage
Example: “Actually, I Am Him” http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ActuallyIAmHim
‘Poetry of Resilience’ from Pat Edwards
‘Poetry of Resilience’ is a documentary by Academy Award®-nominated director Katja Esson about six international poets who individually survived Hiroshima, the Holocaust, China’s Cultural Revolution, the Kurdish Genocide in Iraq, the Rwandan Genocide, and the Iranian Revolution.
These six artists present us with a close-up perspective of the “wide shot” of political violence. Each story is powerful, but the film’s strength comes from its collective voice: different political conflicts, cultures, genders, ages, races – one shared human narrative. http://www.poetryofresilience.com/
The Last Word
May I never grow to old to treasure ‘once upon a time’. – Anonymous
Tuesdays with Story 
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