Tuesdays with Story

Tuesdays with Story
WRITER’S MAIL for December 12, 2010
by Clayton Gill

Good Words from Way Back
“There are not… many people who would care to sleep in a church. I don’t mean at sermon time in warm weather (when the thing has actually been done once or twice), but in the night and alone.” –Charles Dickens in the opening of The Chimes (his less successful “Christmas book” of 1844, a year after publication of A Christmas Carol).

Reading Recap: December 7 Meeting
First-and-Third group met at the Alicia Ashman Branch Library as the Christmas holiday sales are in full swing at our usual venue of Barnes & Noble West. Millie Mader brought cookies and Judith McNeil brought pretzels – welcome fuel for cold weather critiquing. We welcomed guest Bob Schoen, a retired geologist, who is at work on his first novel.

Clayton Gill read from Chapter 15 of Fishing Derby and included a new “flash forward” scene at the end of the chapter. This ending has the main character, Miker, recounting the death of another character to a “woman police officer.” Pat suggested just “police officer” was sufficient, then Clayton could demonstrate gender in the next sentence or later in the scene. Kim Simmons and John Schneller questioned the effectiveness of the flash forward because it flashed forward several days and interrupted an exciting action sequence. Clayton said he wanted to try the flash forward in order to help develop the Miker character, but agreed he could do that by continuing the action in a straight-ahead time line. Pat Edwards pointed out some confusing “antecedents” – use of pronouns without clear reference – something she said we all have to watch out for. John noted some confusion about catfish dragging the victim down: A single 100-pound fish or 10 or more 10-pound fish?

Jen Wilcher shared Chapter 3 of her newly-named novel, The Hogoshiro Chronicles, which is set in a parallel-reality Japan that is both contemporary and mythological. For example, Jen confirmed to Millie that the celebration taking place in the story is a real one. Pat said she really likes the story, but asked Jen to check her use of verb tenses throughout as switching from past-tense to present-tense narration could cause confusion. Clayton liked the writing too, likening the dialogue to the technique used in Japanese animated films which has each character seem to weigh the words of another before responding or initiating physical action. Pat suggested this dialogue technique produced a Zen-like quality: “The Zen of Now.” She added that perhaps because of Jen’s writing style, American idioms stick out all the more. Kim wondered why Chapter 3 introduced a new character, with the narration following that character’s point of view. She suggested that characters introduced in the first two chapters were active, interesting characters who could carry the story without the help of a third.

Amber Boudreau presented Chapter 17 of her untitled young adult novel. John reviewed the chapters opening and suggested diving right into the action. Clayton pointed out that Moira, the main character, does a lot of musing and so there was opportunity for action interspersed in her musings. Jerry Peterson said Moira’s ongoing internal dialogue was a major part of her character. Pat noted some antecedent challenges and Jerry suggested checking to be sure that one character’s statement is treated as a statement and not a question requiring an answer from another character. Millie Mader was pleased to see the further development of the library as a special, even magical place where usual things could happen. There was discussion about the use of “Dragon” as a proper noun (a name or title). The group generally agreed on “Zephyr, the Wyvern, a type of dragon.”

Judith McNeil shared Chapters 9-12 of Dog Hair and Dust, a contemporary novel. Clayton admired the dialogue, but cautioned Judith to avoid using screenplay-style shortcuts. Pat enjoyed the dialogue too, but got a little confused amidst multiple characters. She also thought Chapter 10 could have developed the Mildred-Charles conflict-attraction situation to a greater degree. With more action and dialogue, the nuance of their relationship could have greater detail. Action could punctuate Mildred’s unspoken thoughts. John suggested the main characters were losing the struggle for attention and had become a bit dull because the secondary characters were turning out to be more interesting.

Justin Schober read from the second part of “The Horrible Present,” Chapter 1 of his sci-fi time-travel novel. Millie thought there was “something weird” going on with the main character David and his friend Frank: They re-unite after one has been in a coma for three years but they seem to pick up their relationship like it’s just the next day. Pat agreed, suggesting there needed more physical or emotional action when the two friends meet up again. Considering their very different backgrounds, Kim wondered how the two men ever would have become friends. She said she needed more back story about them and suggested the “time travel” style of narration caused unnecessary confusion. “Even so,” Kim said, “there’s a good story in there somewhere.” Greg Spry recommended starting the chapter in the thick of the accident which caused David’s coma. This approach would have the effect of giving the characters common background and reason for Frank to follow David through his coma. Pat enjoyed the interplay between David and the nurse: There was enough “page time” to develop a relationship between the two.

Cathy Riddle shared Chapter 17 of Beer Crimes. However, First-and-Thirders expected that Cathy’s next chapter for review would have been the ninth. So, how did we get to Chapter 17 already? Cathy explained that additions to previous chapters have pushed this chapter back to what she guessed would be around Chapter 17. The group sighed with relief, glad not to have missed any of the action. Kim wondered whether the supporting character Nine would smoke. Would that be in character? Pat thought Nine would always put up a tough front, hiding a soft heart. How else could we understand her friendship with the main character Misty. Amber didn’t understand why Nine even liked Misty. Kim suggested Misty might be one of those people who watches CSI and notes that no one looks good in their driver’s license photo. Pat thought the tech scene between the detective Mercurio and Rick, the police IT guy, could be simplified. Kim hoped Cathy would make solving the murder an adventure involving both Misty and Nine, in which Misty drags along the reluctant Nine who plays the “straight man.”

Who’s Up Next?
December 14: Kim Simmons (chapters, City in Winter), Jen Wilcher (?), Carol Hornung (scene, Sapphire Lodge), Anne Allen (chapter, Homecoming), Jack Frieburger (chapter, Path to Bray’s Head), and Annie Potter (chapter, memoir). Flying standby: Dan Hamre (short story, “Afterthought”). Note: Second-and-Fourth meets at the Sundance Theater & Café in the Hilldale Mall.

December 21: Randy Haselow (chapter, Hona and the Dragon), Greg Spry (Chapter 2, Beyond Cloud Nine), Leah Wilbur (chapter), John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold), Justin Schober (chapter, sci-fi novel), and Jerry Peterson (Chapter 5, Thou Shalt Not Murder). Note: First-and-Third meets again at the Alicia Ashman Branch Library. Cathy Riddle brings Christmas cookies!

December 28: Kim Simmons (chapters, City in Winter), Holly Bonnicksen-Jones (chapter, Coming Up for Air), Terry Hoffman (chapter 6, The Tome), Leah Wilbur (?), Randy Haselow (chapter, Hona and the Dragon), and Jen Wilcher (?). Note: Second-and-Fourth meets at the Sundance Theater & Café in the Hilldale Mall.

January 4: Jim Barner (step sheet or chapter), Chris Maxwell (?), Aaron Boehm (screenplay, Part 4, Hell Cage), Jen Wilcher (chapter, The Hogoshiro Chronicles), Millie Mader (chapter 23, Life on Hold), and Kim Simmons (chapter 54, City of Summer). Note: First-and-Third returns to Barnes & Noble West.

Amazon’s 2011 Breakthrough Novel Award
Amazon (Amazon.com) recently announced the fourth annual Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, “the international competition seeking the next popular novel.” There are two grand prizes: General Fiction and Young Adult Fiction.

They’re looking for “new voices in fiction.” You qualify to enter the contest “if you’re an author with an unpublished or previously self-published novel waiting to be discovered.” Winners receive publishing contracts with Penguin, which include advances of $15,000.

Manuscripts are welcome January 24-February 6. Visit CreateSpace to sign up for regular contest updates. Find more information at http://www.amazon.com/Breakthrough-Novel-Award-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=332264011

Thanks to Pat Edwards for this item.

Writers Mail: TWS Newsletter Duty Roster
At the close of our December 7 meeting, First-and-Thirders stepped up to the Writer’s Mail editing challenge. Randy Haselow volunteered to put his word-plow to the fertile furrow of January and Cathy Riddle said she would weave the word-quilt for February. Other opportunities remained: March and beyond!

December – Clayton Gill
January – Randy Haselow
February – Cathy Riddle
March – step ahead with practice as unedited text sticks in its own mud
April – spring is to the seasons as editing is to first drafts

Contact this month’s editor for details and send content for next week’s Writer’s Mail to Clayton Gill.

Post-Christmas Gathering
A reminder: We’re invited to Post-Christmas, a get-together hosted by Jerry Peterson and Marge Smith Peterson at 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, January 8 at their home.

To do: (1) Reserve your chair now (e-mail Jerry that you are coming); (2) contact TWS colleagues about carpooling (this editor plans to attend and has room for 3 others); and (3) be ready to enjoy a warm send off to the darkest days of winter.

From a Book Marketer: Three Out of 12
Penny Sansevieri is an irrepressible book promoter whose credits include both fiction and non-fiction best-sellers. She’s also a social media maven and brand-building blogger. Penny specializes in the sizzle of potential book sales.

Part of her business model is offering free advice, including “The Book Marketing Expert Newsletter” which advises authors-with-agents, authors-seeking-agents, authors-self-published, and authors-wanting-to-self-publish.

“Writing, publishing, promoting, publicizing,” she wrote in the newsletter recently. “It all seems quite daunting, doesn’t it? Well, it doesn’t have to be. First you need to start out by doing the right things and knowing what can help, or harm, your success. Keep in mind that while there is always a creative element, publishing is a business. It’s important to know your business to be successful. Here are a dozen ideas that I hope will help you on your journey from writer to successful author (from which this editor has excerpted the first three).

“Waiting too long to market. When it comes to marketing, some authors wait too long to get the word out there. If you’re sitting on top of your publication date wondering where to start with your marketing, you’re about six months behind the curve. Book marketing is what I call the long runway of promotion. A great campaign will consist not only of a focused marketing plan, but a plan that starts early enough to support the ramp up that a good book marketing campaign needs. And this isn’t just for the self-published market, any book that’s being released these days needs a minimum of a six-month ramp up. This doesn’t mean that you are marketing during that time, but ideally you are getting ready for your launch by having a website designed, starting a newsletter, building your mailing list, building your media list, planning your events, etc.

“Not having enough money. I see it all the time; authors spend all their money on the book process (book cover, editing, etc.) and then don’t have enough for the marketing. That’s like opening up a store and not having money to stock it with inventory. Before you jump headlong into publishing a book, make sure you have the funds to do so. So, how much is enough? It depends on what you want to accomplish. Be clear on your goals and market, then sit down with someone who can help you determine a budget.

“Not getting to know others in their market. Who else is writing about your topic? If you’re not sure, then you should do your research. Getting to know your fellow genre authors is not only important, but it can really help you with your marketing. How? Because most readers don’t just buy one self-help book, or one dating book, they will generally buy in multiples. So getting to know others within your market can not only help you market your book, but it could also help you connect with fellow authors, and there is truth to the fact that there is power in numbers.

For more, visit http://www.amarketingexpert.com/ and see below for “The Last Word” from Penny.
For this item, please thank Alicia Connoly-Lohr.

The Last Word: For Healing Wounds, Time Helps, But So Do Books
Book promoter Penny Sansevieri is working on a book called The Kennedy Detail, publication of which appears to be timed to immediately precede the 50th anniversary of the assassination of President Kennedy.

In Penny’s words….

“It’s the story behind Kennedy’s elite group of Secret Service Agents as well as his assassination. None of these agents have talked about this for 47 years and now they’re speaking out. Initially I thought this would be a tough journey. I mean can you imagine the burden of being Kennedy’s Secret Service on Nov. 22, 1963? Then I realized, it wasn’t tough at all; in fact, it was cathartic. So much so that Clint Hill, the agent who you might recall jumped on the car after Kennedy was shot, and who was so affected by this that he went into seclusion for well over 30 years, said that this whole journey has helped him heal in ways the years following the assassination never could. It reminded me that at the end of the day, we’re really in the business of telling stories and helping people tell theirs.

“Publishing being what it is, competitive, and sometimes teetering on imploding on itself, we forget why we’re here: to tell stories and to inspire a world to tell theirs. So, as you migrate through your publishing journey, remember that the only thing you can do is tell your story and perhaps even do some good along the way. And while it’s easy to get caught up in the bottom line, the book sales (or lack thereof) and the other books competing against yours, if you keep your ultimate purpose in mind, the path will be easier. I promise. Tell your story. In the only way you can.”