Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail 3/13/2010
By Kim Simmons

“The trick is leaving out everything but the essential.” – David Mamet

Last Meeting
Eight folks gathered at Barnes & Noble last night, and once Carol stopped grousing about Jodi Picoult publishing a book with a character with Asperger’s before she did (darn it!), we were able to get underway. . .

Jack Frieburger presented a scene from Path to Bray’s Head where Sean helped make the donuts. Carol liked the minimalist conversation describing how the gossip of Sean’s misadventure would spread through the town. Holly wanted more of the five senses – lets smell and taste those donuts. It was a good breather scene between Sean’s inner life, his encounters with Lester, and the rest of the world.

Holly Bonnickson-Jones read a section of Coming Up For Air where Liza washes David’s hair. Lots of sexual tension. To bring out that tension, Annie suggested taking out a lot of Liza’s internal reflections. Let her words and actions speak for her. There was some conflict about the end – if David should just go, or if the details about getting the shoes and jacket were necessary. Jack thought no, newcomer Avery suggested they be left in. And Carol pointed out that poor David never got a rinse, and there were going to be soap bubbles everywhere . . .

Carol Hornung brought in the climactic scene from Asperger Sunset. Still needs to be cut down – take Kevin’s explanations and move to a later scene. Holly felt it was all too neatly wrapped up in a bow. Make sure Russ’ observations fit with his character. And make sure the detective works to calm down and disarm the bad guy, not antagonize him. Plus, more color.

Guest Jim Shaw brought in the introduction to his nonfiction book, In a Tuscan Farmyard. Jack and Dan pointed out that there are an awful lot of “Tuscans” and “Tuscanys.” Carol felt it should be reduced to about two-and-a-half pages. A lot of the additional paragraphs feel like they could start entire chapters and should be saved for later. Focus on the theme of the book – show how the elderly woman symbolizes how things are different in Tuscany.

Who’s Up Next
Jack Frieburger, Path to Bray’s Head
Holly Bonnickson-Jones, Coming Up For Air
Carol Hornung, Asperger Sunset
Jim Shaw, In a Tuscan Farmyard

Reminder, Everything you need to know about Fifth Tuesday . . .

Date, time, and place: March 30, 7 p.m., Booked for Murder (Madison’s independent mystery bookstore).

Food operation: As usual, potluck. Bring a favorite hot dish, salad, or dessert for the food table. Don’t cook? You’ve got a friend at the Cubb deli.

Writing challenge: “A Night at the Bookstore.” Write a short story, poem, or essay about what might happen after lights-out, when, well, maybe books and characters come alive. They do, don’t they? No more than 400 words. Send to Jerry Peterson, by March 21.

Reservations: Guarantee yourself a chair at the festivities. Tell Shel Ellestad, that you are coming. Spouses, friends, and favorite children welcome.

A.Word.A.Day with Anu Garg
Armageddon
MEANING:
noun: A decisive, catastrophic conflict.
ETYMOLOGY:
From the Book of Revelation 16:16 where Armageddon is mentioned. It is the supposed site of a final battle between the forces of good and evil. The word is from Greek Harmagedon, from Hebrew har megiddo (Mount Megiddo).
USAGE:
“In the event that the US unleashed a nuclear Armageddon, the radar station would have immediately warned Moscow.”
Luke Harding; For Sale: One Communist-era Ghost Town; The Guardian (London, UK); Feb 5, 2010.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY
Every one of us is precious in the cosmic perspective. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another. -Carl Sagan, astronomer and writer (1934-1996)

NaNoWriMos Unite!
Here’s a note from Chris Baty to describe the upcoming challenge!

Dear NaNoWriMo Participant,
It’s amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. And I’m not using “you” in a general sense here. I mean you. As in you sitting in that chair, so kindly giving up a few minutes of your life to read this email.
You wrote a novel with us in November. Or maybe you just recently signed up for NaNoWriMo, and are looking forward to bashing out your first NaNo novel with us in the fall. Regardless, you’re a brave soul with a well-honed sense of creative adventure who does well with ridiculous challenges issued from random people on the internet.
Because of this, I’m here with a proposal.
Let’s write a movie. Or a play. Or a graphic novel. And let’s do it in April. For Script Frenzy.
Script Frenzy is the other global writing escapade we put on every year. The goal: writing a 100-page script in 30 days. Partnering is encouraged. All kinds of scripts are allowed, including adaptations of your NaNoWriMo novel! The t-shirts are stunning! No experience is necessary! Script Frenzy’s Writer’s Resources page will teach you everything you need to know before you begin.
I think you’re going to love it.
If you’re a parent with concerns about abandoning your family for a month, fear not. Your children will be penning their own movies or plays right alongside you (when they’re not making you dinner and giving you wrist massages, of course). Script Frenzy’s Young Writers Program will transport your kid or teen from FADE IN to the closing credits in 30 days.
We’re expecting 20,000 people to write with us this year. We’d love to have you on board. Come on by and give our plot machine a whirl! http://www.scriptfrenzy.org
I’ll see you in the Frenzy!
Chris
NaNoWriMo

And another note from Kim
I have personally finished National Novel Writing Month three times and the experience of completing a whole work with a definite deadline is exciting! I encourage anyone who truly enjoys a challenge to participate. Please visit http://www.nanowrimo.org for more info.

BOOK REVIEW BY MILLIE MADER
STONES INTO SCHOOLS
This sequel to Greg Mortenson’s THREE CUPS OF TEA begins with a complimentary foreword by Khaled Hosseini, author of the KITE RUNNER and A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS.
Mr. Mortenson calls his latest school “the flower of the most remote garden of schools.” The seed was planted in Pakistan, in his first book. Many subsequent schools blossomed. This final result of ten years of wrenching labor and hardship, blooms at the “Rooftop of the World.” It stands proudly in a remote moonscape of rock, rubble and ruts, in the extreme Western Himalayas. This is, still today, a land straight out of the era of Genghis Khan

Mr. Greg Mortenson was in the Wakhan Corridor of northern Afghanistan in 1999, drinking tea for warmth, when he heard the distant thunder of hoof beats and the metallic clanging of bridles and spurs. When the horsemen approached, they appeared to be out of centuries past—and they were in most aspects. He could see that they were heavily armed, and were skilled riders. It was their only means of transportation in a forgotten, timeless and cruel land.
Unbelievably, they had heard vague gossip about this American educator’s faith in their people, and the schools he had built. What they now wanted from him was a school in this land that time had forgotten. They wished for their children to become educated, which they realized was the only way to bring a better life to a people who barely survived in this land surrounded by mountains, and bordering China, Pakistan and Tajikistan.
Through many cups of tea, Mr. Mortenson agreed to scope out the possibility of starting a school here—especially for girls. The people believed that, when you educate a boy you educate one man; when you teach a girl, a whole community profits. Death shadows these people. Many women die in childbirth, and multitudes of newborns suffer the same fate. Mr. Mortenson’s problem would be to find someone who could oversee the process while he made his few but necessary trips to the states.
The true hero of this book is Sarfraz, a colorful, leathered soldier of fortune. Sarfraz traveled on horseback, by foot, and in a rusty Land Cruiser. In his questionable wheelings and dealings, he had learned the customs of the tribes. He had even ventured into Arabia. One of his distinctions was that he had demanded to see the face of his second wife before he agreed to marry her. Despite peoples’ shock and protest, his wish was granted. He excelled in the power of persuasion.
Gregg Mortenson realized this man’s value, with his intuitive way of reading the various peoples and their customs. He was almost psychic in his knowledge of the different tribes’ manners of drinking tea–who was served first–and even how they wore their head dresses. He could go for days without sleep, and proved to be relentless in his drive to better the people and to help Greg Mortenson—and thus aid in access to the right people.

An earthquake of horrendous power struck Afghanistan on October eighth, two-thousand five. In a land where there was already next to nothing, it rendered the country bereft. In the words of one of the provincial leaders, “On Oct. 7, I was prime minister of Azad Ammu and Kashmir. On Oct. 8, I was prime minister of a graveyard”

Boulders blocked the already treacherous roads, and now there was no way of getting back to the Wakhan. This would take Greg Mortenson and Sarfraz ten years. The book details the incredible efforts of our heroes in aiding the villages they could reach—building water systems, tent schools, and moving by unbelievable means many of the rocks that had killed thousands. The few existing schools, and nearly all of the buildings had collapsed. People sought shelter under rusty, left over Soviet Army tanks. Many starved. Bodies and refuse littered the landscape. The chopping of rocks, and slowly rebuilding, is what garnered the title of this book.

but once the ruins fluttered with voices, and we came upon an improvised school—In the sunlight falling through the fractured walls, the children turned to stare at us, clear-faced and smiling.

Eventually, the American military heard of Greg Mortenson, and he met with and impressed top generals, including General Petraeus and Admiral Mike Mullen. His initial entree to the military was through a Colonel Kolenda, who shared ideals on education with Greg Mortenson, and had completed a doctorate on European Culture at the University of Wisconsin.
An important aspect of the success of the schools, despite threats from insurgents, was Greg Mortenson’s respect for local customs and religions. The average people hated and feared the Taliban and Al Qaeda, and he never discussed politics. He earned the admiration of the people, and worked miracles building schools and educating teachers. He impressed upon the locals that these were their schools.
His own mother is a school principal in Wisconsin. The military now makes THREE CUPS OF TEA required reading for armed forces about to face the insurgents in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
The school at the Rooftop of the World celebrated it’s opening in 2009. The story of how it came to fruition, and the round about route that brought Greg Mortenson and Sarfraz back to the far north, makes inspirational reading. There is a plethora of tribal language and foreign names of people and places. These could never be deciphered without the maps and glossary that are happily incorporated in the book. It is graced with interesting pictures, as well.

“To The Thawing Wind”
Robert Frost, 1913, www.ketzle.com/frost

Come with rain. O loud Southwester!
Bring the singer, bring the nester;
Give the buried flower a dream;
make the settled snowbank steam;
Find the brown beneath the white;
But whate’er you do tonight,
bath my window, make it flow,
Melt it as the ice will go;
Melt the glass and leave the sticks
Like a hermit’s crucifix;
Burst into my narrow stall;
Swing the picture on the wall;
Run the rattling pages o’er;
Scatter poems on the floor;
Turn the poet out of door.

Boys Without Names by Kashmira Sheth

Sheth, a Tuesdays With Story alumni, will be doing a book launch for her newest young adult novel at B&N West at 7pm, March 18. The book is called “Boys Without Names”. Here is her description;

For eleven-year-old Gopal and his family, life in their rural Indian village is over: We stay, we starve, his baba has warned. So they must flee to the big city of Mumbai in hopes of finding work and a brighter future. Gopal is eager to help support his struggling family until school starts, so when a stranger approaches him with the promise of a factory job, he jumps at the offer.

But Gopal has been deceived. There is no factory but, instead, a small, stuffy sweatshop, where he and five other boys are forced to make beaded frames for no money and little food. The boys are forbidden to talk or even to call one another by their real names. In this atmosphere of distrust and isolation, locked in a rundown building in an unknown part of the city, Gopal despairs of ever seeing his family again.

Then, late one night when Gopal decides to share kahanis, or stories, he realizes that storytelling might be the boys’ key to holding on to their sense of self and their hope for any kind of future. If he can make them feel more like brothers than enemies, their lives will be more bearable in the shop—and they might even find a way to escape.

Got style? by Clayton Gill

If you’ve got good style, your editors will appreciate it. Your good style will show you can visit editors in their neck of the publishing woods, which is very stylish indeed.

However, getting to good style can be a challenge. At Merriam-Webster online, you’ve got to dig down to the sixth definition: “a convention with respect to spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and typographic arrangement and display followed in writing or printing.” (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/style)

Good style buries itself in good writing. It’s almost invisible, except to editors and other writers who understand how much it helps all written communication.

Here’s the Wikipedia perspective on the style you want:

“Publishers’ style guides establish house rules for language use, such as spelling, italics and punctuation; their major purpose is consistency. They are rulebooks for writers, ensuring consistent language. Authors are asked or required to use a style guide in preparing their work for publication; copy editors are charged with enforcing the publishing house’s style.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Style_guide)

I think the key word above is “consistency.” Consistency of language usage is important because it reduces “noise” in your writing. If your writing adheres to “house rules” or editorial conventions of spelling, punctuation, capitalization, italics, and other points of style, then the reader experiences uncluttered reading. The reader understands your writing and your meaning with much less effort. Good style is invisible to most readers, but it is vital to good writers and their editors.

By the way, in the Wikipedia quotation above, did you notice the use of the “terminal” or “serial” comma? That’s a comma placed before “and” in a series of individual words, phrases, or dependent clauses. Below, Jennifer Stewart at Write101.com (http://www.write101.com/W.Tips141.htm) offers some examples of why such a tiny style detail may be important to your writing.

Examples of silliness caused by omitting the serial comma:
— “To my parents, Ayn Rand and God.”
— “For lunch we ordered BLT, peanut butter and tuna sandwiches from the delicatessen.”
— “Here lies Charlie Weeks, a lawyer and an honest man.”
— “Door prizes will include lab equipment, books written by members of the bio department and a fruitcake.”

Other online references for good style:
http://www.apstylebook.com/
http://www.brandeis.edu/communications/webservices/images/apstyle.pdf
http://www.cmu.edu/styleguide/
http://mtsu32.mtsu.edu:11178/171/tips.htm
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/735/02/
http://www.tameri.com/edit/style.html

A final thought: Good style can improve your writing because it helps in clarifying your thinking. –Clayton

Robert Harris on Writing
British novelist and screenwriter Robert Harris wrote the 2006 thriller, The Ghost, and then the screenplay based on this novel for the movie “The Ghost Writer” now playing at your neighborhood cinaplex.

Here’s what Harris says about our business of writing: “My basic advice when writing is to get three things happening every two pages. Keep things moving. Think about the book from beginning to end and see the key moments. I recognize my strength and my weakness as a writer. My strength, if I might say so without being immodest, is that by and large, once people start reading they can’t stop because they are drawn in. The weakness of course is you don’t really hang about and develop characters too much. You don’t stop for long lyrical passages. I do like stories. I like the business of telling a story. Having said that, there is no reason why a story shouldn’t carry a lot more freight with it. You can get at a truth as a novelist in a way that you can’t as an historian. I think you can bring things alive, the sense of fear, prickly fear, the sweat, the smell of the place.”

Notes and Tips From the Christian Writers Guild Conference in Denver
Notes from the Jerry Jenkins Christian Writers Guild conference held in Denver: these are some notes.

The guild holds an annual contest for unpublished authors—must be a member of the guild, but no entry fee—$20000 prize and publishing contract.

Authors still recommend the use of italics for interior monologue (Kane, you were right). The preference of your editor/publisher will be the deciding opinion.

Chapter titles or numbering. The disadvantages to titles on chapters is that you give away hints/suspense, and you create a significant challenge. Instead of coming up with a title for your book, you now challenge yourself to come up with twenty to thirty titles . . .and they better all be good!

Number 1 factor to sell books is word of mouth, so title should be brief . . . catch attention but not overly clever . . . pronounce it easily . . .fit the subject matter . . .no corny cliché . . . memorable . . . but don’t tell too much.

Use of the senses: Do a check after each chapter. Have you used as many of the senses as possible? Too many times we rely on visual only.

Color symbolism:
White = life
Black = death
Grey = life and death simultaneous
Purple = royalty
Gold = wealth
Pink = femininity
Red = pain, violence, bloodshed
Brown = of the earth
Green = birth or rebirth
Yellow = (meaning based on context) blindness or enlightenment
Orange, blue create little reaction within the reader

A few notes on fiction proposals: Do it right the first time. Once they reject it, you are done.

Primary objective of fiction is to elicit emotion. Remember that the proposal is the first and may be the only shot for you to connect with editor. If you can’t connect with editor in the proposal, they won’t believe you can do it elsewhere. While you need to be able to boil down your summaries to an elevator pitch (the time you might have with an editor between floors) so you know what the book is about, the synopsis should be 5 pages double spaced so the editor is sold on the idea and the storyline (unless the editor gives other guidelines – always follow the guidelines of those you are submitting to!!!)

Synopsis: Include setup, premise, location, main character and background. Make them care about or identify with the main character immediately. Include all major plot points, tensions, twists, conflict, climax, resolution.

Long hook or tagline. In two long paragraphs tell your story with storytelling.

Follow-up etiquette: After submitting query letter or proposal, wait 6-8 weeks. If no response , do a polite follow up. If still no response, move on.

Agents and publishers represented the Christian Booksellers Assoc (CBA) . . . a smaller but significant market as compared to the American Bookseller Assoc. (ABA). Some felt the electronic publishing is set to make dramatic effects on the business. Others remind us of what a small percentage of books are currently sold as e-books. It takes such a commitment for a publisher to market a book, few are willing to take a chance on new authors unless they have a platform or recognizable name. But, as they say, GREAT WRITING still sells!!

The Last Word…
“There are books so alive that you’re always afraid that while you weren’t reading, the book has gone and changed, has shifted like a river; while you went on living, it went on living too, and like a river moved on and moved away. No one has stepped twice into the same river. But did anyone ever step twice into the same book?” – Marina Tsvetaeva