Tuesdays with Story
June 4 2024
The first word . . .
Ultimately, literature is nothing but carpentry. With both you are working with reality, a material just as hard as wood.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Tuesday Evening . . .
Wendy B. (What Blood Runs Through Me June Ch. 23)
What Blood Runs Through Me. Wendy’s chapters received good reviews with many excellent suggestions for strengthening the writing. Just what is the “second chance” Tag refers to when talking to June the night before he leaves for the army? Good question. It needs to be defined more fully. There was a snafu or two on accuracies relating to the era, some word choices that need to be cleaned up, and as always, the tricky little grammatical tenses. The main, and most important suggestion is to withhold information and not rush into revealing too much too early.
Next read will be a like a patchwork quilt: a short revision on the very first page, the ending of Part 1 (June’s story), and the opening of Part 2 (Michael’s story). Curious how y’all think the transition flows. Thank you always!
Larry F. Sommers, Brother’s Blood, Ch. 12:
The lead sentence needs re-wording. Harold’s memory of the fairgrounds airplane incident from childhood occasioned some confusion. There should be more sense of Harold’s feelings about being denied the opportunity to play football, and his family’s view of his plight. Were his parents involved in the decision? There’s discord at the end between the difficulty the cross-country runners experience and Harold’s perception that it’s too easy. Maybe the coach could offer him a job as equipment manager. And what of Margaret? Does she play a part in Harold’s life now that he’s back in school? Good suggestions, all, for a chapter that’s in its early formative stage.
Jaime Nelson Noven NYAA Ch, 13 Rewrite
The group generally liked chapter 13. We discussed making it clearer the orientation in the room and the lighting situation. The question was raised whether Lindyhop would notice Danny opening the door. We also discussed the penlight and whether people would have them in the future, as they are already out of fashion. Readers liked the chemistry between Lindyhop and Danny. Thanks, all!
Kashmira Sheth, Agaria’s Story Ch.11-12
Overall, these two chapters were well-received. Some of the sentences needed to be shorter in order to pack more punch. There were also several suggestions for word choice and grammar. The story seems to be moving at a good pace and magical realism works well. Thank you all for your help!
Who’s up next . . .
Wendy Bialek
Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi
Suzanne Gillingham
Something to share . . .
Kashmira Sheth’s verse novel I’m from Here too (Peachtree Publishers) was reviewed in PW and Kirkus Reviews. The book will be available on July 2,2024. Thank you for all your feedback on this story.
“[A] moving verse novel . . . Sheth evocatively explains Sikhism in this compassionate story in which characters combat hate with reason.”—Publishers Weekly
“An informative coming-of-age journey.”—Kirkus Reviews
The last word . . .
Life is not what one lived, but rather what one remembers, and how it is remembered to tell the tale.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
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