Posts Tagged ‘Hal Leonard Performing Arts’

Writer’s Mail for July 6, 2011
by Jen Wilcher

“We’re shy, needy, driven to distraction, full of grandiose ideas and hopelessly creative, extroverted, reclusive, irritable, joyful, marginalized, and common. Like Walt Whitman, we are cameras and we are the cosmos. But mostly, we’re lonely.” ~ Alvaro Rodriguez

About ten gathered upstairs at Barnes & Noble on Tuesday night with only thre readers as Pat Edwards did a workshop on some secrets of MS Word.

Judith McNeil:
My piece was a 3-page script for animation called, “Beauty Needs A Beast”.  Randy caught an error in a description, I had called “Samurai Tummy”, meaning “Sumo Tummy”.  Greg thought that image of the beast could be unified, if Dr. Whazat wore a mask/costume that was the same as image, Beauty sees, as well as the Beast neighbor.

Greg Spry: The group felt that Professor Kevin Sommerfield could take another puff from his nanoinhaler to calm himself during the speech. The chapter doesn’t need the first scene break. Kevin’s geeky talk of science and Albert the monkey was good for the most part, although at least one person felt overwhelmed by it. The part beginning with “Punctures space-time…” was particularly troublesome. When rephrasing, make sure the high level concepts are clear. At the same time, perhaps the professor could “geek-out” even more so. He could act confused about why everyone else doesn’t get the science even though it’s simple to him. Furthermore, more of the audience needs to be shown rather than telling the reader about their actions. CTEC needs justification for sending Marie beyond Marie’s begging of her editor (would CTEC not send their science reporter?). Marie’s actions were consistent with the airhead character established in chapter 4. When the professor exits the offices, where does the rest of his team come from? And most importantly, what’s the United Nation’s purpose behind holding the press conference. It’s an announcement that manned FTL spaceflight is possible, but they should still have an agenda. Their PR people will want to mold public opinion.

Jerry Peterson:  Chapter 12, from his novel “Thou Shalt Not Murder”, received kind treatment. “I recognized the McCosky story,” Millie Mader said. “That happened in Texas, a woman running over her husband three time.” Jerry said he had read it,
that it’s a ‘ripped from the headlines’ story that the old Law & Order series also picked up for one episode. Pat Edwards asked that the state police investigator be more polite in his interview of the banker. “In the place and time period of the story – Tennessee in the 1960s – it would be appropriate . . . ‘yes, sir’, ‘may I ask, sir’.” (more…)

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