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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged , on May 10, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

Writer’s Mail for 05/09/13

You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we’re doing it. –Neil Gaiman

Last Tuesday at B&N . . .

We have a couple visitors. Ruth and Betsy join us for the evening.
Lisa reads from the beginning of her novel (tentatively titled) Tebow’s Family Secret. Andy has a question about the date of the main character’s accident and whether it is significant to September 11, 2001. Pat remembers Lisa’s first version and thinks this is tighter but there’s still some editing that needs to be done. Andy wonders if Lisa can write a vision for us. Alicia thought the date of the accident seemed contrived. Jerry too thought the reader will want to know why the day of the accident is so important. What follows is a discussion of 9/11 and weather the day can be changed. Lisa tells us it cannot. Alicia, Amber, and Aaron (all the A’s) think she can keep 9/11 she just needs to not treat it so casually. Jerry wonders if someone with memory problems would be entrusted with a family recipe.
Alicia shares chapters five and six of Lincoln’s Other War. Pat likes her Lincoln parts a lot, but struggles with the other parts. She wonders if there are other ways to display those parts. Lisa agreed that it sounded disjointed to her also. Could those portions be made more conversational? Millie got the impression that the people out East didn’t know what was going on. Betsy easily picked out the other voice as well.
Pat reads her poem, 58! for the group. Half the group doesn’t get the very first joke of the poem. The title is a reference to her age, which the other half of the group didn’t believe. Millie liked it but she thought it should have been seventy-eight; Betsy, sixty-eight. Andy didn’t like the prose in the middle of it. Alicia didn’t agree with the first line. Bob wonders why we can’t just accept the paradox.
Amber shares Chapter Twelve of Noble. Lisa takes notes. Jerry corrected a part of the scene read aloud to the group. Pat liked that the main character had learned how to use her magic as well as the ending and the mention of fire. (Shout out to former TWS member Greg Spry). Lisa thought the main character learned magic too fast. Andy wanted to see a bigger reaction from the protagonist. Jerry thought her reaction fit with what we know of the character. Millie thought another character was jealous. Pat wanted to know who would play a certain character in the movie.
Jerry reads from the beginning of Chapter Ten of The Last Good Man. Alicia thinks Jerry should definitely do the audio book. Betsy liked the humor. Pat wondered if they got the dent out of the roof or not. Lisa asks if the main character leaves the truck with the others or what. She’ll have to read chapter eleven to find out. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged on April 29, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

Writer’s Mail for 04-23-13

“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as the wall.”–Mitch Hedberg

Last Tuesday at the B&N . . .

Last meeting before Fifth Tuesday! Write your challenge (translate a cliche and explain what happened) and bring a copy along to read to the group! Tuesday, April 30, Panera on University.

Tuesday night we had a big crowd – though a bigger crowd was using most of the chairs for a kids event… had some scrounging to do, but then we got to business.

Ray Woodruff presented his short story “Leave Them Be.” Terry summed up many of our thoughts when she said, “Creepy creepy creepy!” She did point out, though, that naming the main character 17-76 was a little distracting. Carol had some trouble picturing what the bunk room looked like. Bill was concerned about the use of UV lights – with the reveal at the end, UV might be harmful. Full spectrum, perhaps? Julie enjoyed the build-up and pay off, but wondered what They were doing with the blood. Do we need to know who They are? Katelin felt it worked well even without that information.

Carol Hornung read a scene from Ghost of Heffron College. A party scene. Discussion broke out about whether “joint” was the proper terminology, or if it was too dated. Other options were suggested (and with further research, I’ve discovered that “joint” is the correct terminology, but these days you’re more likely to use a water pipe anyway … rewrites now in progress). Andy liked the pacing. Holly wanted something earlier in the scene to hint at what would come later, like an appearance of the ghost. Jack pointed out continuity issues – large room, but crowded, and Bill liked the isolation of the small dorm on a bad weather weekend.

Bill Eisinger returned with a rewrite of “Jack ad Susan.” Holly loved the inner dialog. Andy noted that italics make it clear it is inner dialog, so quotations aren’t needed. Carol liked the way the characters are starting to emerge. Loves that Susan is a run-at-the-mouth chatterbox until she’s asked about herself. Could make her stop and stammer even more at that point. Julie wanted some clarification of Jack’s motivations. Why is the character here? What does he want? (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged , on April 3, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

Tuesdays With Story Newsletter
Fourth Week of March

Four of us gathered Tuesday night for a lively round of critiques.

We started with Rebecca Rettenmund’s The Cheese Logue, Chapter 22. Andy liked the piece but felt it ran a little long and could have been a little more playful, especially with the kid. He thought the interactions were a bit repetitive, but Jen thought they worked together well. Carol really liked the character development involving Isaiah and the Halloween party. There were also a few technical things, verb tenses that didn’t match, and some homonyms to be corrected. Rebecca asked if the idea of a one-year story structure worked, and we all said “yes.”

Andy Pfeiffer read a scene from People. The way he read the scene out loud was funny, but the wording of the scene itself didn’t come off as funny. Might need the main character to find the situation funny so the reader follows along. Jen was concerned about the character of Brenna. Hard to know what’s really going on with Liam, and the director needs some one-on-one time with her to develop the relationship. Watch out for the harassment, too – unless someone is particularly valuable a company won’t try to correct behavior, they’ll just cut him lose to protect themselves. Carol wanted to see Spaulding with some incredible talent that makes him valuable. Rebecca thought Brenna should be above all the foolishness.

Carol Hornung read a scene from Ghost of Heffron College. Andy suggested more physical descriptions of the characters. Rebecca really liked the idea that the ghost had some power over others – but don’t let Olivia slip back into bitchiness after the ghost influenced her behavior. Also, put the two comments of the different kinds of flooring together for contrast. Makes more sense. And the description of the name tags on the door read a bit awkward. Otherwise, the scene worked well.

Who’s Up Next:
April 2: Amber Boudreau (chapter, Noble), Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter, The Cheese Logue), Michelle Nightoak (chapter, memoir), Andy Pfeiffer (???), Clayton Gill (chapter, Fishing Derby), and Alicia Connolly Lohr (chapters 3-4, Lincoln’s Other War). (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged , , on March 22, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

Tuesdays with Story Newsletter
Third Week of March

Notes 3-19-13
Nine of us gathered Tuesday for the first time in 4four weeks since no weather could stop us!

Lisa starts us off with the beginning of Chapter ten of her novel, Follow the Yellow. Jerry tells us she can take out all the foul language. Jen disagrees; it should stay if it’s part of a person’s character But Jerry wonders, why offend your readers? Pat suggests a salty character isn’t bad to have and enjoyed the two chapters, saying they read fast and the dialogue was good. Rebecca thought the protagonist’s actions were out of character when he got in a hot tub naked. Jerry wants to know where the beer comes from in a scene on the phone. Pat enjoys the asides.

Millie shares chapter forty-two of Life on Hold, telling us she received a scathing review from Andy, who explained that he has missed a lot of the story and did not mean to offend. Lisa and Rebecca don’t understand why it’s strange for one character to show up at the end of the chapter. Andy suggests Millie elaborate. Jen had a question about characters popping up out of nowhere. Millie tells Aaron she tried not to have too many telephone calls back and forth.

Rebecca shares Chapter eighteen of her Cheese Logue. Amber likes the limerick. Lisa liked the chapter a lot, she had a hard time connecting some parts, but she really liked it. Pat enjoyed the stream of consciousness and back and forth. As long as each section stands on its own, it works for her. Lisa forgot who a character was when he appeared at the beginning of the chapter.

Amber shares Chapter nine of her YA novel. Pat had to look up a word! Gazeteer. Note to Amber, look up St. Martha (And St. George.) Andy wonders why Zephyr only hisses when he says yes. Jen wonders if Zephyr should have “claws” instead of “hands”. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged , , on March 1, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

Writer’s Mail
2/27/2013

Notes from 2/26/13 Meeting
Due to the horrific weather, only Andy, Katelin, and Jen attended. Jen opted to withhold her piece until a later meeting when more people could discuss it.

Katelin’s submission to Larry Brooks of StoryFix.com, The Battle of Sista was discussed and approved. Jen suggested rephrasing the “External Conflict” from Cassie’s point of view, as opposed to Traiken, to retain consistency. Andy suggested varying the protagonists and having conflict between them to create a more interesting story, which Katelin said she would be doing. Katelin disclosed that the story would be in third-person and the perspective would change between various characters’ heads.

Andy’s prologue and chapter one of People was perceived as difficult to read due to Blaze’s vehement hatred of everybody; Katelin compared him to Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII. It was suggested by both Katelin and Jen to depict college-age Blaze as someone frustrated with society, as opposed to outright hating it, and during college and afterward for his hatred to be fueled by the ignorance and hate of those around him. Minor fixes and the larger plot were discussed, but will be kept secret until a future meeting. Andy will be retinkering the first chapter and intends to share in two weeks’ time.
Thanks to Andy for the notes
(more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged , on February 22, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

Writer’s Mail
2/21/2013

Notes from 2/19/13 Meeting
On a cold, icey, winter’s night in February, 5 members of the 1st and 3rd group gathered at a toasty warm Barnes & Noble to discuss the literure of our fellow writers. With copies and laptops at the ready, we all sat down to discuss what appeared to be just 1 piece of work from the night. That work belonged to to Jerry Peterson who, for the time being, was up first and last for the evening.
Jerry: The Last Good Man, Pat thought Jerry should say if one character got pinched on the butt during a funny scene. Lisa agreed and Jerry thought it was a good idea. Andy thought the names were confusing. Pat wanted to know if the faternity’s were made up names (yes). Pat was unclear of what “a student with indifferent looks” meant. Lisa felt like the story was too safe at this point. Wants someone to get robbed or some kind of conflict. Pat suggests a dead soroity girl. Jerry assures us that some “hijacking” is coming.

Then we talked about Lord of the Rings and other stuff to fill the time.

At 7:30ish, Amber arrived in dramatic fashion, with husband and daughter in tow. She had gotten into a car accident, but forturnately, she’s fine. It was not her fault. Andy suggested she add more description about what Zephyr looks like now, such as color. Jerry wasn’t so convinced that that’s needed. He thinks the reader will form their own version of a tyrannosaurus Rex in their head. Lisa felt the fear in the chapter as she read it, though Jerry thought there needs to be a better description of what “predator” means. Pat wondered why the deer didn’t run and there was discussion about whether a deer would run if not being threaten. Andy thought the mom should have said something earlier about the drinking from a glass. Jerry disagreed, explaining that it depends on the relationship with the mother. Jerry also gave some input on writing style for the story. Lisa pointed out Amber’s use of a preposition. Andy felt it wasn’t a big deal since it’s in first person. Jerry suggested ways she can re-write the way she kept using one sentence to explain the actions. Amber explained she wrote it that way for affect, which Jerry accepted. Everyone agreed that this chapter was good and tight. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged , , , , , , on December 29, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

Tuesdays With Story
WRITER’S MAIL for December 28, 2012

Good Words from Way Back

After midnight, we’re gonna let it all hang down.
After midnight, we’re gonna chug-a-lug and shout.
We’re gonna stimulate some action.
We’re gonna get some satisfaction.
We’re gonna find out what it is all about.
After midnight, we’re gonna let it all hang down.

–From “After Midnight,” song written by J.J. Cale in 1966, made famous by Eric Clapton in 1970 (complete lyrics at http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/After-Midnight-lyrics-Eric-Clapton/75E32C0A25AB514148256877003316FD, notes from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/After_Midnight_[song]).

December 24 Meeting: “Not,” Nor January 1 Either
But we hope you’re writing anyway, every day. Our next meeting is Second-and-Fourth group’s return to Barnes & Noble West on January 8. Meanwhile, there’s….

Post-Christmas Party Rescheduled: Now January 12
Our annual post-Christmas gathering at Jerry and Marge Smith Peterson’s Christmas Castle in Janesville, originally set for January 5, has been rescheduled for Saturday, January 12. Time’s the same — arrival at 1:00 p.m. or so. The plan is to feast at 1:30 p.m., then break out the games we’ve brought. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged on December 10, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

Tuesdays With Story
WRITER’S MAIL for December 7, 2012

Good Words from Way Back

“Happiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally. Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us a wild-goose chase, and is never attained. Follow some other object, and very possibly we may find that we have caught happiness without dreaming of it.” — Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864), American short story writer and novelist, author of Twice-Told Tales, The Scarlet Letter, and The House of the Seven Gables. Hawthorne also said, “Easy reading is damn hard writing.”

December 5 Meeting: Reading with Cookies!

Five First-and-Thirders gathered around the tables at the Alicia Ashman Library last Wednesday night for readings from five members. Amber Boudreau prepared our report and noted there were two – “count ’em, two” — types of cookies. Reading with cookies… delicious!

Amber read from her brand new Chapter Five of Noble. Pat Edwards wondered why, when two characters throw up their arms as they face each other, one of characters does not take the opportunity to “cop a feel.” Jerry Peterson noted that a truck from the 1950s would not have been equipped with seatbelts originally. Also, near the end of the chapter, Jerry was looking for a bit of conflict between the main protagonist and her mother. Millie Mader pointed out one passage in particular that she found poetic. Also, there was a recommendation to check hyphenation. .

Pat Edwards presented the next few pages of her PowerPoint project. Amber said she loved the format, especially the technique of moving elements around. The group delved into the question of observer memory and how people remember themselves in their memories: Do they see themselves fully or just a part of their physical being? Judith McNeil and others admired Pat’s creative work.

Judith shared her rewrite of “The Man With the Broken Heart.” Pat was glad to have the whole thing to read through again and wondered how to describe the work. Was the style “journalistic,” “stream-of-consciousness,” or possibly “MTV-esque”? Although she did not understand the main character’s sense of frustration, Pat liked the character of “wife number two.” Jerry wondered why the main character decided to go to New York when his boss tells him to get out of town.

Jerry offered Part I of his short story, “The Santa Train,” which Judith thought was very well described. Pat had a question about why others always referred to the main character as “Mister” instead of “Reverend” or “Preacher.” Jerry explained that the character doesn’t go in for titles, but acknowledged that he never gives Mister a chance to explain that. Pat saw the story revolving around one character even though he seemed to be the least interesting of all the characters with whom he comes into contact.

Thank you, Amber! (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged , on December 1, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

Tuesdays With Story
WRITER’S MAIL for November 24, 2012

“Without chaos, there is no creation. Just look at a kitchen after a feast.”~ Grant Faulkner, Executive Director of the Office of Letters and Light, NaNoWriMo Pep Talk, November 23, 2012

November 20 Meeting
Jerry, “Rage”: We jumped in quickly with a small discussion about Jerry’s piece before the session officially started, and then picked it up again at the end of the meeting. Pat didn’t like that there was no reason why the teacher didn’t like Thad. The rest of the group didn’t agree. Lisa, thought there should be a set-up for the prop, like a chapter before so it doesn’t come out of nowhere. Pat, thought it would have been an hung jury if it would have been with the jury. Michelle didn’t believe there needs to be a reason why the teacher was mean to Thad.

Lisa, Poems: Pat liked the surprise in the first poem, “Reading with Grandma;” it’s not a sweet poem. Judith thought the line with “flinch” could be changed. Michelle wondered why that word was italicized. Lisa explained to emphasize the word “flinch.” Michelle thought the word “Grandma” should be added at the end again. In the second poem, Pat thought the title should be changed to “Smoking with Matt Damon” and liked the “groupie panties” line. Jerry wondered about the “edge of the toes” line and wondered if toes had edges. Susanne thought the word “ecstasy” was the wrong word and preferred the word “calm.” Millie suggested changing the “New Year’s Eve night” line by dropping the word “night.” In the third poem, Pat liked some of the images in some of the lines. Michelle liked use of the singular in the poem and thought that “floors” should be “floor”.

Michelle, “911 Dale”: Millie really liked the first paragraph and thought it was very descriptive. Pat liked the pace once the dialogue began. Lisa was confused about the point of view. Bob liked the opening and thought it felt like a collage. Pat and Lisa didn’t know whether the main character was a man or woman (it’s Michelle). Michelle wanted to know how to write that she was looking at all this stuff from a call center. She also wanted to know how she should put the info in order. Bob and Susanne liked the lack of info. Bob preferred that she doesn’t hold the readers hand as she writes. Susanne suggested playing with voice and tone. Pat suggested she keeps it in order the way it happened. Susanne said to keep the tone and rhythm of what’s in her memory. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Posted in Newsletter, tagged , , , , on November 13, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

Tuesdays With Story
WRITER’S MAIL for November 7, 2012

“…as you print out another day’s worth of writing and add it to the stack of pages, embrace the sheer delight of seeing the world of your making assemble itself before you. . . . You are bringing something tangible into the world. If that isn’t magic, I don’t know what is.”-Kevin Wilson, NaNoWriMo Pep Talk, October 31, 2012

November 6 Meeting
Michelle Nightoak joined the group

Lisa read from Chapter Eight of Follow the Yellow. Amber wondered how one character knows what another is thinking if this is told from the first person. Pat liked the scene overall and all of the different conflicts that come out of it. Everyone seemed to like the format Lisa used to show one character’s writing. Pat insisted it kept the work colloquial. Millie thought one character’s mother needs to watch out for her offspring a little more. Pat had a comment about the racy scene, but she thought it was pretty well blocked. Jen wanted to see a character pull an item out of a bag and wondered how that character knew where another was standing if she’s blind. Clayton wondered if a character would bring up their ex on Valentine’s Day. Jerry wondered if a guy would spend $200 on a purse for a girl on their first date. Aaron thought it might be a knock-off.

Millie read her reviews of Jerry’s book, The Watch and Spike’s book, At First Light. We all think Millie should post these!

Bob shared a flash piece with the group. Lisa thought it was very mysterious and had to read it multiple times. Bob tried to make each sentence a contradiction. Clayton thought the pronouns were a bit paradoxical. Pat thought for a short piece, it needs to be super-tight and introduces us all a new word; weltschmerz. She was looking for some hope and beauty and not so nihilistic. Michelle thought there was wonder, but not any hope. The group found the title confusing as well. (more…)

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