Quote of the Week

“I could a tale unfold, whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres,
Thy knotted and combined locks to part
And each particular hair to stand an end,
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine.”

William Shakespeare, Hamlet

And the winner is . . .
Everyone who came to Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder.

Said Brandy Larson, maker of the mighty 8-pound chocolate/chocolate bread pudding, “It was fun and Chris DeSmit, our guest of honor, had a good handout on ‘voice’ for everyone. After the readings, she made insightful comments on each person’s piece that everyone could learn from. Amber Boudeau won the dinner and critique with Chris – her story was REALLY great.”

You can read Amber’s and all the Fifth Tuesday stories. They’re posted on our TWS website.

A dozen writers took part in the writing challenge. Chris DeSmet was, said she, impressed with the quality of the writing and the sophisticated story-telling techniques the writers used.

Here’s her list of the best of the best:
– Honorable mention . . . Judith McNeil, “Muffy’s Heart”, and Liam Wilbur, “mDNA’s Heartbeat”
– Runner-up . . . Greg Spry, “Antimatter of the Heart”
– And the best of the best . . . Amber Boudreau, “Hearts Ablaze”

Looking ahead – waaaay ahead – our next Fifth Tuesday is May 31. Put it on your calendar now so nothing gets in the way of it. Second-and-fourth group hosts.

- Submitted by Jerry Peterson

And now a word from our Fifth Tuesday judge . . .

UW writing instructor Chris DeSmet sent this note to be shared with all:

Thank you for inviting me to judge (the Fifth Tuesday stories) and to join the meeting Tuesday evening. You guys have a fun time and lots of good writing gets done.

Here are the criteria I used for the choices I made. I was looking for these things:

1. Is it complete? In other words, did it have structure, form, an ending that made sense per what had come before it? Did it feel well thought out versus slap-dash.

2. Was it technically well-crafted? (Some of the entries had misspellings, incorrect punctuation and the like. In a contest or in real life, those mistakes automatically take off points for a writer.)

3. Did it have a good voice? Voice includes: fresh words and phrases, bold attitude of any kind (soft or brash, any kind), specific details versus generalities, showing instead of telling, a good finish that crescendoed for us somehow and delivered a twist or hook for us to ponder, and a feeling of confidence by the author and a “flow” to the piece. A writer’s confidence is important for voice.

4. Finally, was it at a publishable level or close to it overall? Would I put my name on it and recommend it to an agent or editor at this stage? Would the writer be proud or embarrassed if it were sent to an agent?

While we laughed with many writers at the meeting or smiled or felt our hearts warm at their pieces, the reason they weren’t picked is that they lacked something from the list above. But all they need to do is revise their piece one more time and push things even more and they’d have a very fine story or essay or prose poem! Revise, revise. That takes everything to a new level for any of us.

I’d be happy to respond further to any writer in the group if she/he will send me an email with another copy of their story (so I don’t have to go hunting for the story). Send it along with a question or two and I’ll be happy to respond. I will be on vacation starting February 8 for two weeks, so any questions sent after February 8 will have to wait for my response.

Thanks!

Again, a wonderful experience and I look forward to having dinner with Amber and helping her with her writing for up to 50 pages. We charge $5/double-spaced page. That’s a $250 prize she received, plus the dinner out. Congratulations to her!

Who’s up next . . .

February 7: Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 4, The Cheese Logue), Liam Wilbur (chapter 6, Scott & Rory), Lisa McDougal (intro to the story, Tebow Family Secret Recipe), Amber Boudreau (chapter 2 rewrite, Noble), Pat Edwards (poems), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 22-23, Thou Shalt Not Murder).

February 14: Terry Hoffman (chapter, The Great Tome), Jack Freiburger (Jesus at the IHOP), Holly Bonnicksen-Jones (Coming Up For Air), Liam Wilbur (???), Andrea Kirchman (Pip Zin), Carol Hornung (Sapphire Lodge)

February 21: Kim Simmons (chapter 2, City of Autumn), Aaron Boehm (???), Greg Spry (chapter 18, Beyond Cloud 9), Millie Mader (chapter 32, Life on Hold), Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”), and Clayton Gill (chapter, Fishing Derby).

Newsletter editors . . .

Carol Hornung is our editor for February. Please send all the good stuff you want in the newsletter to her.
Lisa McDougal is our editor for March. Volunteers needed for April and beyond!

The Last Word . . .

“The play’s the thing
Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king.”
- William Shakespeare, Hamlet

The challenge: Write a short short story, poem, film scene or essay with a two-word title. One of the words must be either heart or hearts . . . Burning Heart, Busted Hearts, Mending Hearts, you get the idea. Hey, Valentine’s Day is coming. No more than 500 words. Winner receives a critique of her/his first 50 pages from Chris DeSmet plus dinner on the town with Chris.

Here is a link to the submissions. http://tuesdayswithstory.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/5th-tuesday-2012.doc

Quote of the Week
“Know your literary tradition, savor it, steal from it, but when you sit down to write, forget about worshipping greatness and fetishizing masterpieces.” – Allegra Goodman

Tuesday at the B&N . . .
I don’t remember if I got any notes from last Tuesday, or if it was cancelled due to weather. This was the first week of classes, so I’ve been distracted. My apologies if someone sent me notes and I accidentally deleted them.

Who’s up next . . .
January 24: Terry Hoffman (chapter, The Great Tome) . . . To get on the reading list, contact Carol.
January 31: Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder
February 7: Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 4, The Cheese Logue), Liam Wilbur (chapter 6, Scott & Rory), Lisa McDougal (chapter 3, Tebow Family Secret Recipe), Amber Boudreau (chapter 2 rewrite, Noble), Lisa McDougal (chapter 2, Tebow Secret Family Recipe), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 22-23, Thou Shalt Not Murder).
February 21: Kim Simmons (chapter 2, City of Autumn), Aaron Boehm (???), Jennifer Hansen (chapter, Shadows), Millie Mader (chapter 32, Life on Hold), Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”), and Clayton Gill (chapter, Fishing Derby).

Fifth Tuesday almost here . . .
It’s just a bit more than a week away when we all gather at Booked for Murder for an evening of good food, fun, fellowship, and opportunity . . . the opportunity to win a free critique of the first 50 pages of your novel, collection of poems, or film script from UW writing instructor Chris DeSmet.

But you can’t win if you don’t first take up our Fifth Tuesday writing challenge and whip out a short story, poem, film scene or essay with a two-word title . . . one of the words must be heart or hearts. Please keep your mini-masterpiece under 500 words. Deadline for getting it in to Jerry Peterson is Friday, January 27
There is a $5 fee to be a part of the competition. Clayton Gill will collect that at the door if you have not already paid him.
Now we need to know you’re coming to Fifth Tuesday, so, to guarantee that you have a chair, email Jerry with your reservation and tell him whether you’re bringing a guest. Guests – friends and spouses – are always welcome.

A Word From Our Writers. . .
Sadly, I have not had a whole lot of time to find anything really cool.

Newsletter editors . . .
Liam Wilbur is our editor for January. Please send all the good stuff you want in the newsletter to him.

Carol Hornung is our editor in February and Lisa McDougal in March.

The Last Word . . .
I’m in an acting class! – Liam Wilbur

Quote of the Week
“Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.” – Mark Twain

Tuesday at the B&N . . .
A cozy group of writers gathered at Barnes & Noble for a quick round of critiques.

First up, Jennifer Hanson reworked the first two chapters of Shadows of Yesterday. Katelin enjoyed meeting Paige as a young girl. Liked how the child was concerned about things on a completely different level in interpreting the adults around her. Andrea wanted a more specific setting – where does the story actually take place? Jen pointed out that there is more description and detail of the setting, but the name of a town and a specific area/region would be nice. Can be fiction. Andrea felt the description of Solomon and his uniform and Paige and the soggy cereal were good details but in the wrong places. Carol said there was a lot of detail that could be used later in the story. She also felt very close, emotionally, to Paige and wants to know what happens to her.

Carol Hornung read a scene from Sapphire Lodge. Andrea caught a completely boneheaded typo – it’s the Sapphire Lodge on the Aurora River, not the Aurora Lodge… Jen felt the writing was a little awkward when Saffi gets colors off her own emotions. Katelin liked the new characters, felt that they were very clear. Andrea liked the choice of Lloyd Braxton to be the father’s name. Suggestive of Lord Braxton. She was, however, concerned that Simone was a “working girl” because the silky red dress brought on that image. Make it a different color.

Readers for Tuesday, January 24, 2012: Room for more – contact Carol.

Who’s up next . . .
January 17:
Jim Cue (short story)
Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”)
Kim Simmons (chapter 2, City of Autumn)
Millie Mader (chapter 32, Life on Hold)
Jennifer Hansen (???)
John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold).

January 24:
Terry Hoffman (chapter, The Great Tome)
Andrea Kirchman
Holly Bonnicksen-Jones (?)
To get on the reading list, contact Carol at chornung88@aol.com

January 31: Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder

February 7:
Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 4, The Cheese Logue)
Liam Wilbur (chapter 6, Scott & Rory)
Lisa McDougal (chapter 3, Tebow Family Secret Recipe)
Amber Boudreau (chapter 2 rewrite, Noble)
Jerry Peterson (chapters 22-23, Thou Shalt Not Murder).

TWS Events . . .
Hey, hey, hey, Fifth Tuesday . . .

First-and-third group hosts January 31 at Booked for Murder.

Have you started your writing challenge story? Do it well and you could win a critique of the first 50 pages of your manuscript from UW script-writing instructor Chris DeSmet plus dinner on the town with Chris.

Here’s the challenge: Write a short short story, poem, film scene or essay with a two-word title. One of the words must be either heart or hearts . . . Twisted Hearts, Bleeding Hearts, Heart Burn, you get the idea. Length: 500 words max.

Yes, for this one there is an entry fee of $5, payable to Clayton Gill, our bag man.

Deadline for your story is January 27. Email it to Jerry Peterson, our story collector.

Alright, grab an idea and write!

A Word From Our Writers. . .
Sadly, I have not had a whole lot of time to find anything really cool.

Newsletter editors . . .
Liam Wilbur is our editor for January. Please send all the good stuff you want in the newsletter to him.
Carol Hornung is our editor in February and Lisa McDougal in March.

The Last Word . . .
My apologies for getting this out so late; I’ve been doing the run-around that always occurs the week before classes actually start. Getting books, swapping classes, etc. College is fun. – Liam Wilbur

Quote of the Week
“If to love Story is to love excitement, then I ought to be the greatest lover of excitement alive.” – C.S. Lewis, On Stories

Tuesday at the B&N
14 people!

Rebecca shared the chapter “Treasure Hunting” from her Cheese Logue. Pat had a question about commas and quotes. Jerry wonders if the italic section should be set up the same way as the poem at the beginning of the chapter instead of as prose. Lisa and Jen liked the voice of the pirate. John says it’s the first pirate he’s heard of who wanted health insurance. Millie asks if Rebecca ever saw any fifty cent pieces at the cheese shop.

Liam shared chapter six of his novel. Judith liked the professional altercation that occurs. Liam wasn’t sure the student would report a slur so shortly after hearing it, but Millie was glad the student did. Clayton was surprised the principal would discipline a teacher in a student’s presence. Jerry agreed. Pat liked the way Liam slipped in the age of the character (centuries old) but in the next chapter he can’t talk to girls. Pat has to ask if there are really kids who don’t know who famous people in history were. Millie wondered why the girl is a senior at 11 years of age. Pat wondered about that, too. Pat also had a question about voice and pronouns. Amber covets Liam’s giant whiteboard!

Amber shared chapter one of her rewrite, Jerry thought this was much better than the first draft. Millie and Jen wondered if the first part could be in italics, since there was confusion regarding the fact that it was supposed to be a sort of cycle of events. Some mention of Alice in Wonderland. There was mention of a need for a break between the first and second part.

Lisa shared the second chapter from her novel. Pat thought the dialogue was good. Clayton likes the set-up of the mystery of what happened to the main character’s wife. Rebecca didn’t know the second character was the first’s brother-in-law. Amber wondered why the chapter didn’t start with the main character. Pat thought she could get rid of a lot of physical descriptions of characters. Clayton suggested limiting the “invisible narrator” as much as possible. Jerry has a problem with the brother-in-law encouraging the main character to date a student, which would be against the rules at almost any university.

Jerry shared chapters 20 and 21 of Thou Shalt Not Murder.
Pat wondered how they knew the secretary was a former Miss Kentucky? She also had a comment about the changing of a thoroughbred’s name after having been in a race. John asked what year it is that this takes place. Millie enjoyed the dialogue. John didn’t think a person would call themselves a horse farmer, but Jerry says that’s common in Kentucky. Clayton wanted to know how many people knew what a stagger wing was and wondered if deleting the flight plan was a big deal. Pat and Millie did not enjoy the hairpiece metaphor.

Who’s up next . . .
January 10: Second-and-fourth . . . Jennifer Hansen (2 chapters) . . . To get on the reading list, contact Carol at chornung88@aol.com

January 17: Jim Cue (short story), Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”), Kim Simmons (chapter 2, City of Autumn), Millie Mader (chapter 32, Life on Hold), Jennifer Hansen (???), and John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold).

January 24: Terry Hoffman (chapter, The Great Tome).

January 31: Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder

February 7: Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 4, The Cheese Logue), Liam Wilbur (chapter 6, Scott & Rory), Lisa McDougal (chapter 3, Tebow Family Secret Recipe), Amber Boudreau (chapter 2 rewrite, Noble), Lisa McDougal (chapter 2, Tebow Secret Family Recipe), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 22-23, Thou Shalt Not Murder).

TWS Events . . .
Saturday’s post-Christmas party . . .

It’s one last chance to party before the snow and cold of January really gets here in inaugurate winter. It’s our third annual TWS psot-Christmas party, hosted by Jerry and Marge Peterson at their Victorian home in Janesville.

Showtime is 1 p.m., and, yes, it’s potluck . . . so bring your lucky pot filled with good food to share. Friends and spouses welcome. And do bring a game you’d like the group to play. Also email Jerry that you are coming. He and Marge want to be sure they have a camp chair for you.

Directions: If you have a GPS, program in 920 Glen Street, Janesville.

If you don’t have an electronic navigator, jump on I-90 heading south.
– Take the first Janesville exit.
– At the bottom of the ramp, guide right onto Highway 26/Milton Avenue. Stay with that street. You’ll pass through the business district . . . it’s a couple miles long . . . then enter the Milton Avenue residential district. Once you see houses on either side of you, drive on to the first stop light. Memorial Drive is the cross street.
– Turn left at the light, onto Memorial.
– At the first stop sign, turn right onto Garfield Avenue. Proceed two blocks . . . the second block is verrrry long . . . to Glen Street.
– Turn right on Glen. Proceed one block. 920 will be on your left. Park on the street and come to the door.

The Clayton Gill carpool will meet at B&N Westside at 12:00 noon. Meet Clayton there if you want to ride with him . . . and send him an email at clytngll@yahoo.com so he knows you are coming.

Hey, hey, hey, Fifth Tuesday . . .
First-and-third group hosts January 31 at Booked for Murder.

Have you started your writing challenge story? Do it well and you could win a critique of the first 50 pages of your manuscript from UW script-writing instructor Chris DeSmet plus dinner on the town with Chris.

Here’s the challenge: Write a short short story, poem, film scene or essay with a two-word title. One of the words must be either heart or hearts . . . Twisted Hearts, Bleeding Hearts, Heart Burn, you get the idea. Length: 500 words max.

Yes, for this one there is an entry fee of $5, payable to Clayton Gill, our bag man.

Deadline for your story is January 27. Email it to Jerry Peterson, our story collector.

Alright, grab an idea and write!

A Word From Our Writers. . .
Word Enthusiast: Bustaurant
n. A restaurant set up in a converted bus. Also: bus-taurant.
Example Citations:
But when Mr. Schick and his business partner, Blake Tally, decided to open Le Truc, a San Francisco “bustaurant,” with a gourmet kitchen and dedicated seating area inside a converted school bus, the two quickly learned that the kitchens in food trucks are very different from their brick-and-mortar equivalents.
—Todd Lapin, “The Vehicle of Street Food Is Getting an Overhaul,” The New York Times, January 14, 2011
As the name implies, a bustaurant is not a truck but a bus, often a double-decker with the lower level for the kitchen and the upper level for customers to sit and eat.
—Rich Mintzer, “Beyond the Food Truck: Six Ideas for Mobile Food Businesses,” Entrepreneur, September 26, 2011
Earliest Citation:
That time — and place — is about an hour later in a “bustaurant”, a beautifully appointed mobile restaurant hired for the services of the star during the shoot.
—Mark Lawrence, “Super sleuth is, aah…a super bloke,” The Age, October 31, 1992
Related Words:
butt bus
eater-tainment
fast-casual
Greyhound therapy
groceraunt
Categories:
Companies
Food and Drink

Book Review
EXPLOSIVE EIGHTEEN
BY JANET EVANOVICH
Submitted By:
Millie Mader
This is number eighteen in a series about Stephanie Plum, an inept, bungling bounty hunter. Her assistant, Lulu, is a self- proclaimed “best ex ‘ho in Trenton.” Janet Evanovich writes with humor, and the stories are like a crazy quilt, woven in vivid color. The stitches are mismatched and wander in an errant pattern. Incredibly, they eventually meet—often by sheer luck.
Many of the same characters spring to life on the pages of each book. There is the ninety year old grandma, who has now joined a bowling league, LWB—ladies with balls. Her social life consists of visiting funeral services of acquaintances from “the burg.” She and her buddies are curious to view the deceased and the attendants, but mostly to sample the food and drinks.
Cousin Vinnie, who owns the bond office, is married to a lady with big time mob connections. Stephanie describes him as a “weasel.” In the previous book his building was torched. For a time the group officed in the RV of an ageing hippie, who made delicious pastries loaded with pot. Ultimately, this went up in flames too. Next came a rusty bus, which met the same fate. This novel finds them in a rat infested rental space.
There are two men in Stephanie’s love life. One is “movie star handsome” Italian Detective Morelli. The other is an ex Special Forces agent, suave and mysterious. He now owns a multi-million dollar security firm, has a fleet of vehicles and drives a Porsche. Stephanie describes him as “more of a jungle cat than a golden retriever.”
Stephanie’s mother and grandmother just want her married to one of these men. The mother hides a secret stash of whiskey in her cupboard to help her cope with many distressing scenarios.
Lulu, Stephanie’s assistant, carries a Glock in her handbag, and is always hungry for “Cluck-in-a Bucket” and/or “Tasty Pastry Bakery.” Stephanie tells us Lulu wears latex made for a woman two sizes smaller. Stephanie usually hides her Smith and Wesson in her cookie jar. They tool around Trenton, hoping to “capture” bail jumpers, mostly meeting with failure and disturbing foibles. Stephanie always loses her latest vehicle, either to robbers who own a chop shop or to flames.
This latest best seller involves the familiar characters plus an influx of new crazies. Stephanie comes close to death on several occasions. This time her jagged journey takes her from Honolulu back to Trenton. On the trip home, her seat partner inadvertently puts a picture in Stephanie’s tote bag. When they stop over at LAX, he doesn’t return. His body is later found in a dumpster. Thus begins a hunt for the picture, with Stephanie becoming a target. Her harrowing exploits–personal danger not-withstanding–will leave you laughing out loud. How Stephanie eventually captures the ring leader leads down many slippery slopes. The dialogue is always hilarious, as are the mental impressions Stephanie muses on.
The first book of this series, “One for the Money” is coming out as a movie this month, starring Katherine Heigel. Janet Evanovich has written other novels, most of a romantic nature, but all with the same dry and clever wit.

Newsletter editors . . .
Liam Wilbur is our editor for January. Please send all the good stuff you want in the newsletter to him.
Carol Hornung is our editor in February and Lisa McDougal in March.

The Last Word . . .
Real magic doesn’t have anything to do with dancing under a Solstice Moon; reciting old Latin spells or overly elaborate rituals. That’s all just optical illusions and sleight of hand.
For me, the magic is in words. I shape them; listen for the right rhythm at the right time and then something incredible happens. A story is woven out of thin air.
Have you ever read a story that touched you deep inside and had your mind overtaken by thoughts about it all day?
Did you ever think that maybe it was the writer’s own inner magic, and not just his/her ability to follow the rules of grammar and language?
— Liam Wilbur

Good Words from Way Back

So all my best is dressing old words new,
Spending again what is already spent.
–William Shakespeare (1564-1616) in “Sonnet 76” (1609)

December 27 Meeting: Sequel to Boxing Day
The Second-and-Fourth writers followed up Boxing Day (December 26) with a sequel, taking the night off. Carol Hornung thanked Aaron Boehm for securing the space upstairs at Sundance, where the group will meet again on Jan. 10.

Who’s Up Next?
January 3: Rebecca Rettenmund (Chapter 3, The Cheese Logue), Liam Wilbur (Chapter 6, Scott & Rory), Kim Simmons (?), Amber Boudreau (?), Lisa McDougal (Chapter 2, Tebow Secret Family Recipe), and Jerry Peterson (Chapter 20, Thou Shalt Not Murder). Note: First-and-Third returns to Barnes & Noble Westside.

January 10: To get on the reading list, contact Carol Hornung at chornung88@aol.com. This Second-and-Fourth meeting again takes place at Sundance, upstairs!

January 17: Jim Cue (short story), Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”), Aaron Boehm (?), Millie Mader (Chapter 32, Life on Hold), Jennifer Hansen (?), and John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold). Meeting at Barnes & Noble Westside.

January 24: Terry Hoffman (more of The Great Tome). To get on the reading list, contact Carol. Check again for location of this Second-and-Fourth meeting.
January 31: Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder. Note: See below.
February 7: To get on the reading list, contact Jerry Peterson.

Final Reminder: January 7 with the Petersons in Janesville
Let Jerry Peterson know if you plan to attend the TWS Post-Christmas Party at the Christmas Castle (920 Glen Street, Janesville) starting at 1:00 p.m. on Saturday, Jan. 7. Then, find a carpool buddy, or, if you need a ride, contact Clayton Gill by Thursday (Jan. 5).

Heart of the Matter: Deadline January 27 for Fifth Tuesday January 31
First-and-Third group hosts our Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder on January 31 at 7:00 p.m. where we’ll hear entries for the Writing Challenge:

Write a short-short story, poem, film scene, or essay with a two-word title. One of the words must be either “heart” or “hearts” as in . . . “Blazing Hearts,” “Hearts Foreclosed,” “Kevlar Heart” . . . you get the idea. Length: 500 words max. Send your manuscript to Jerry Peterson by January 27.

There is a $5 entry fee, payable to Clayton Gill, who can collect at First-and-Third meetings in January (Jan. 3 and Jan. 17) or first thing at Fifth Tuesday (Jan. 31).

If you win the Writing Challenge, UW script-writing instructor Chris DeSmet will critique
the first 50 pages of your finished manuscript or work-in-progress. Your entry fee – along with the fees of other entrants – will go toward a dinner on the town for you and Chris to discuss her critique.

Booked for Murder is located at 2701 University Ave., Madison (http://www.bookedformurder.com/).

Writer’s Mail: Duty Roster
Please consider to plan to resolve to commit to help other TWS members every now and then while having fun and learning something as you edit Writer’s Mail for a month or so, like Liam and Carol (see below).

January – Liam Wilbur leads us into the New Year!
February – Carol Hornung edits from the heart!
March – Get some mo’ better writin’ by editing Writer’s Mail.
April – Shower us with your unique perspective.
May – Spring springs forth in the editor in you.
June – Putting a bug in all our ears.

Join up with an e-mail to Liam.

The Last Word: Not “Gone Fishing,” Just “Gone”
“Is it possible that, instead of heaving a huge biological sigh of relief, the world without us would miss us?” –Alan Weisman in The World Without Us (2007).

Best wishes for a happy and productive 2012 to all Tuesdays With Story members and their families. Please send your Writer’s Mail contributions to Liam.

Good Words from Way Back o’ the Head
“Just keep writing. Your perfect beginning is probably right ahead of you.” –Johanna Harness, “middle grade” and young adult novelist and blogger on the craft of writing. See for example, http://johannaharness.com/blog/2011/12/14/the-craft-of-writing-revision/. This quote comes from The Story Merchant at http://donmarquis.com/. Thanks again, Jerry!

December 20 Meeting: Five on a Ride
Meeting at Alicia Ashman Branch Library, five First-and-Thirders take the group for a spin around their stories. Our travelogue is courtesy of Amber Boudreau.

Greg Spry offers Chapter 16 of Beyond Cloud Nine. Getting straight to the action, John Schneller asks, Why are the doctor’s wrists crossed? From the text it isn’t clear that his hands are tied. Jerry Peterson suggests the removal of a speech tag. Pat Edwards wonders why the shuttle is analog, could it be digital instead? Millie Mader really worries for the main character, Brooke. John questions Brooke’s character: Is there anything else redeeming about her character besides her attractive/toughness? He’s looking for a sense of humor. Pat thinks Brooke’s reverence for flying attracts other characters. She finds Brooke’s flaws interesting.

Aaron Boehm shares some ideas for his new screenplay. Pat wonders, if instead of vampires in “Blood Feud,” the characters could be cannibals. She asks whether the big showdown would be too similar to the conclusion of “Hell Cage,” Aaron’s previous screenplay. Regarding another screenplay idea, “Exodus from Nazi Egypt,” a group member asks whether the scientist character is the protagonist or antagonist. Pat wonders whether the story would appeal to young people. John wonders if Aaron’s list of characters will include the major player, God. Lisa McDougal considers that “Thrice Bitten,” another screenplay idea, sounded better read out loud than it did in her head. Another idea, “Stealing From Yourself,” reminds the group of the unconscious reality world of Inception. Greg asks how Aaron would explain the science behind the alternate realities. Pat wonders how all of the characters become aware of each other.

Lisa McDougal brings Chapter 1 of Tebow Secret Family Recipe, a working title. Millie wonders whether the story about the alligator was a dream of one the characters because it has nothing to do with the main story. Pat thinks the alligator story could be a metaphor for other things that happen in the story. Jerry imagines the character would type the alligator story into a file on a computer but not publish it. John has a good point: The character’s amnesia needs to come up sooner rather than later.

Millie Mader reads from Chapter 31 of Life on Hold. Amber Boudreau wonders what, exactly, was “yucky” about the food court. Greg is looking for more conflict in the story line. To him, it seems there’s a lot of telling going on when there could be more action. He wonders why the guys “snarl” at each other. Pat agrees that there could be more emotional conflict. She suggests that Millie could include a lot of the information as dialogue, which would set the stage for debate and conflict. Aaron wonders whether Millie is preparing the main character to start questioning her relationship with her current beau.

John Schneller presents Chapter 10 of Final Stronghold. Millie asks what is “Nor.” John explains that this is the new name for his imaginary world, originally called Avatar. Greg asks about the point of the chapter and how it contributes to moving the story forward. Pat thinks the chapter is very well written but “a little heavy-handed” on the moral side. She wonders if John is using the animal characters as “some kind of plot device.”

Thanks for the reading recap, Amber!

Who’s Up Next?
January 3: Rebecca Rettenmund (Chapter 3, The Cheese Logue), Liam Wilbur (Chapter 6, Scott & Rory), Kim Simmons (?), Amber Boudreau (?), Lisa McDougal (Chapter 2, Tebow Secret Family Recipe), and Jerry Peterson (Chapter 20, Thou Shalt Not Murder). Note: First-and-Third returns to Barnes & Noble Westside.

January 10: To get on the reading list, contact Carol Hornung at chornung88@aol.com. This Second-and-Fourth meeting again takes place at Sundance, upstairs!

January 17: Jim Cue (short story), Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”), Aaron Boehm (?), Millie Mader (Chapter 32, Life on Hold), Jennifer Hansen (?), and John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold). Meeting at Barnes & Noble Westside.

January 24: Terry Hoffman (more of The Great Tome). To get on the reading list, contact Carol at chornung88@aol.com. Check again for location of this Second-and-Fourth meeting.

January 31: Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder. Note: See below.

February 7: To get on the reading list, contact Jerry Peterson.

Ooo, Yes! Brave Hearts at Fifth Tuesday. . .
First-and-Third group hosts our January 31 Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder, our independent mystery bookstore here in Madison (2701 University Ave., visit http://www.bookedformurder.com/.)

Put your heart and storytelling skills into our writing challenge for this event and you could win a free critique of the first 50 pages of your manuscript from UW script-writing instructor Chris DeSmet.

The challenge: Write a short-short story, poem, film scene, or essay with a two-word title. One of the words must be either “heart” or “hearts” as in . . . “Twisted Hearts,” “Bleeding Hearts,” “Heart Burn” . . . you get the idea. Length: 500 words max. Send your manuscript to Jerry Peterson at petersonjerry@att.net.

There is a $5 entry fee, payable to Clayton Gill, our bag man and enforcer, who can collect at First-and-Third meetings in January (Jan. 3 and Jan. 17) or first thing at Fifth Tuesday (Jan. 31). We’ll use the loot to fund dinner on the town for the winner and Chris where they can discuss her critique.

So grab an idea and write . . . write, write, rewrite . . . and polish, polish, polish . . . until your heart’s content . . . or at least until it aches.

January 7: TWS Post-Christmas Party . . .
Come on down to Janesville, to the Smith Peterson Christmas castle – Marge and Jerry Peterson’s Victorian house – for one last holiday blast on Saturday, January 7.

Friends and spouses welcome. Bring some great food for the feasting table and a game you’d like the group to play. Start time is 1:00 p.m.

Please send Jerry an email telling him and Marge that you are coming. They want to be sure they have a chair for you.

Now the driving directions: If you have a GPS, program in 920 Glen Street, Janesville.

If you don’t have an electronic navigator, jump on I-90 heading south, then . . .
1. Take the first Janesville exit.
2. At the bottom of the ramp, guide right onto Highway 26/Milton Avenue. Stay with that street. You’ll pass through the business district . . . it’s a couple miles long . . . then enter the Milton Avenue residential district. Once you see houses on either side of you, drive on to the first stop light. Memorial Drive is the cross street.
3. Turn left at the light, onto Memorial.
4. At the first stop sign, turn right onto Garfield Avenue. Proceed two blocks . . . the second block is verrrry long . . . to Glen Street.
5. Turn right on Glen. Proceed one block. 920 will be on your left. Park on the street and come to the door.

Do carpool if you can and save the environment. Let Clayton know if you can help with car-pooling or if you need a ride. For planning purposes, drive time from B&N Westside is 47.327 minutes.

Oh, yes: Shel Ellestad, TWS world traveler and raconteur will be with us.

An Evening with the Insect Literary Society
First-and-Thirder Pat Edwards brings this wriggle little cutie to our attention: Director Marilyn Zornado presents an evening with the Insect Literary Society in an animated film featuring poems (read by Mr. Spider, Mr. Dragonfly, Ms. Firefly, and Ms. Moth) from Inside the Rainbow Garden by Meme. Marie Meyers, a poet from Portland, Oregon, who passed away recently. See the film at: http://www.pw.org/content/insect_poetry_1.

For Pat’s work, visit http://poetiosity.com/ and keep in mind for this holiday season one of Pat’s favorite sayings from the poet Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Thanks Pat!

Writer’s Mail: Duty Roster
Many thanks to Liam Wilbur and Carol Hornung for getting Writer’s Mail off to a great start in 2012. As these TWS story tellers know, newsletter editing is great practice for writing.

January – Liam Wilbur leads us into the New Year!
February – Carol Hornung edits from the heart!
March – Get some mo’ better writin’ by editing Writer’s Mail.
April – Shower us with your unique perspective.
May – Spring springs forth in the editor in you.

Join up with an e-mail to Clayton.

TWS Alumni News
Remember First-and-Third’s Chris Maxwell? Said she in a note this week, “My big news is that I got married to Jack, whom I have been seeing for over a year, so it will be our first Christmas as a married couple.”

Chris now is with a Middleton writers group whose meeting schedule better meshes with her work schedule. However, she does plan to pop back in on first-and-third in the spring, to say howdy and catch up.

Thank Jerry for this news!

The Last Word: Onomatopoetic Way Back to the Greek
The word “lissotrichous”—pronounced li-SO-tri-kuhs—is an adjective meaning having straight or smooth hair.

However, as Anu Garg at A.Word.A.Day (http://wordsmith.org/awad/index.html) point out: “The origin of this word isn’t hairy at all. It’s pretty straightforward–the word is from Greek lissos (smooth) and thrix (hair). Some cousins of this word are cymotrichous (having wavy hair), trichotillomania (the compulsion to pull out one’s hair), and its end result atrichia (baldness).”

The wordsmith notes 1880 as the earliest document use of lissotrichous and offers this more recent example: “Madonna’s Blonde Ambition tour notwithstanding, women really aspire to be lissotrichous brunettes, since sleekness and shine–the season’s chief criteria–show much better on dark hair.” –Pamela Swanigan in “Blondness: It’s Probably Not the Real Thing,” Vancouver Sun (Canada), June 16, 2001.

With thanks to Jerry for this gem, best wishes for happy holidays for all Tuesdays With Story members and their families, and encouragement to keep on writing and sending some of it to your December Writer’s Mail editor.

Good Words from Way Back
“One has to be just a little crazy to write a great novel.” –John Gardner (1933-1982), an American novelist, essayist, literary critic and university professor, not to be confused the British author who was the first of the James Bond spy novelists after Ian Fleming. Our Gardner wrote the novel Grendel, which retells the Beowulf legend from the monster’s point of view. This quote comes from The Story Merchant at http://donmarquis.com/. Thanks, Jerry!

December 13 Meeting: Driven to Drink
Meeting at Sundance, a hard-driving gang of Second-and-Fourth writers dodged holiday distractions to get to the meat of their stories.

Liam Wilbur led off with Fog-gotten, Chapter 3, combining parts of previous chapters. Our hero has awakened in a different century, a bit the worse for wear. The group liked the pace, flow, and humor. Most suggestions were word alterations and fairly minor. “Cubicle” carried the burden of referents and needed to be changed to a different term to describe a division of a hut. The Welsh may be clearer in italics.

Holly Bonnicksen-Jones presented a rewrite of the break-up scene in Coming Up for Air. The discussion was long. The group could see where she was developing the emotional hollowed-out center of the narrator’s affect, but there were continuity problems. The point and counter-point between the male who is leaving with anger and the narrators’ refusal to engage, even in this extreme circumstance, illustrated her self-defeating character. The work is mostly open and inner dialogue, so not easy to get just right. Applause for the subtlety of the portrait and the intricate plotting

Jack Freiburger returned with a revised first chapter of Return to Bray Head. Most suggestions were for word changes and phrasing to take some ripples out of the flow as the narrator and the reader climb to the top of the granite bluff where Sean will begin his story about Lester, which is actually Sean’s story, but he’s a dim sort and never does quite figure that out. The rewrite was to introduce the “golden fleece” at the beginning of the story, which caused Jack to deliver one of his boring long lectures on deep parallelism in Modernist literature. While he droned on, most of the gang walked over to the Great Dane, being driven to drink and chicken wings by the evening’s proceedings.

Thanks for the reading recap, Jack!

Who’s Up Next?
December 20: Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”), Aaron Boehm (story ideas), Millie Mader (Chapter 31, Life on Hold), Lisa McDougal (?), Pat Edwards (poems), and John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold). Note: This First-and-Third meeting takes place at the Alicia Ashman Branch Library. Who’s bringing the cookies?

December 27: To get on the reading list, contact Carol at chornung88@aol.com. This Second-and-Fourth meeting again takes place at Sundance, upstairs!

January 3: Rebecca Rettenmund (Chapter 3, The Cheese Logue), Liam Wilbur (Chapter 6, Scott & Rory), Kim Simmons (?), Amber Boudreau (?), Lisa McDougal (?), and Jerry Peterson (Chapter 20, Thou Shalt Not Murder). Note: First-and-Third returns to Barnes & Noble Westside.

January 10: To get on the reading list, contact Carol Hornung at chornung88@aol.com. This Second-and-Fourth meeting again takes place at Sundance, upstairs!

January 17: To get on the reading list, contact Jerry Peterson at petersonjerry@att.net. This First-and-Third meeting again takes place at Barnes & Noble Westside.

January 24: Terry Hoffman (more of The Great Tome). To get on the reading list, contact Carol. Check again for location of this Second-and-Fourth meeting.

January 31: Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder. Note: See below.

“Hearts Dissected” at Upcoming Fifth Tuesday

Booked for Murder, our favorite locally-owned bookshop, again is the venue for our pre-Valentine’s Day Fifth Tuesday gathering on January 31, starting at 7:00 p.m. Owner Sara Barnes and First-and-Third Group are hosting the event.

Your Fifth Tuesday writing challenge: Write a short short story, poem, film scene or essay with a two-word title. One of the words must be either “heart” or “hearts,” as in “Hearts Aflame,” “Hearts Relocated,” “Heartless Hearts.” You’ve got 500 words for a hearty helping of creativity. It doesn’t have to be a steamy tear-jerker. It could be surgery for dummies.

The best 500-word hunk o’heart, as judged by UW screen-writing instructor Chris DeSmet, wins a free critique of the first 50 pages of other work by the winner, plus dinner on the town with Chris.

This writing challenge has a $5.00 entry fee, payable to Clayton Gill, who can collect at a First-and-Third meeting January 3 or January 17 or first-thing at Fifth Tuesday on January 31. Submit your heart’s delight (up to 500 words) to Jerry Peterson by January 27.

You’re Invited: Post-Christmas Party January 7
Join Jerry and Marge for the TWS Post-Christmas Party and Potluck on Saturday, January 7 (starting at 1:00 p.m.). Marge’s Victorian mansion — 920 Glen in Janesville – shows off all its holiday splendor.

Let Clayton know if you can help with car-pooling or if you need a ride.
Please let Jerry know if you plan to come.
You can bring a dish to pass, a bottle to share, and a board, card, or other game you’d like the group to play.

Writer’s Mail: Duty Roster
We need editors for Writer’s Mail. Not everyone can look at every e-mail or Yahoo! Update, so the Writer’s Mail provides a weekly meeting point for all TWS members. Also, newsletter editing is great practice for writing.

January – Liam Wilbur leads us into the New Year!
February – Love to write, learn to edit.
March – To better writing by editing Writer’s Mail.
April – Shower us with your unique perspective.
May – Spring springs the editor in you.

Join up with an e-mail to Clayton.

Celebrity Boasting, Toasting, Roasting, etc.
Terry Hoffman offers this excellent online resource. For those who have a question about using a celeb’s name in their book, here’s a blog with legal info: http://petemorin.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/right-of-publicity-and-artistic-free-speech/

Thanks, Terry!

Snappy Ambulance Chaser: Millie’s Book Review
Millie Mader turned to John Grisham’s new legal-genre novel The Litigators, dove into the “page turner,” and turned out this account.

The hero of The Litigators, David Zinc, stumbles into our lives in a most unorthodox manner. For starters, John Grisham has set this latest novel in Chicago. Our protagonist is a Harvard Law graduate, earning a six-figure salary in the most prestigious law firm in the “windy city.” Arriving for work on a fateful morning, David realizes how much he hates his boring job, with its twelve to sixteen hour days and lack of actual legal practice. He has never even been in the courtroom. David works for the firm of Rogan and Roth, which occupies floors sixty to one hundred and employs six hundred lawyers in the renowned Trust Tower. David has grown to see the tower as a “glistening phallic monument.”

Arriving at 7:30 a.m., David feels what he calls a “snap”– a sort of mental crack-up — enveloping him. His feet don’t work and he is sweating profusely. He feels totally spaced-out. The “zombies” he presses past look like pall-bearers, dressed in expensive, black overcoats. Their faces are as devoid of expression. David recognizes fellow employees. But none greet each other. They merely nod. David hasn’t had time to become friends with co-workers. He wants to start a family, but usually falls asleep after work, too tired for even his lovely and long suffering wife

The snap seizes him. He turns, presses the down button for one of the elevators, and lunges into it. He flops on his butt in a corner. David Zinc knows he will never return to Rogan and Roth. Six years have been five too many.

Out of the building, David tries to collect his thoughts. He is appalled and horrified, but self-satisfied at what he has done. Maybe breakfast will clear his senses. He heads for a blinking neon sign, enters, and requests breakfast. But he’s entered a bar with a personable bar tender who mixes David a bloody Mary. One leads to another, then another. David is not, ordinarily, a drinking man. In the afternoon, he staggers out, weaves down the street, and crashes into the “boutique” law firm of Finley and Figg. Boutique is a misnomer, David discovers later, designed to mislead. The firm is ruled by the odd couple of Oscar Finley and Wally Figg — two ambulance chasers, barely keeping their business afloat.

Oscar is the senior, in his sixties, hoping for retirement and a divorce. Wally revels in the sound of sirens, always chasing the big pay-off. They need David on the day he stumbles through their door. It was through a mishap of similar circumstance that they had acquired Rochelle, their questionable receptionist. Their paralegal had just run out the door.

We follow this foursome through a page-turner of exploits to the precipice of bankruptcy. Hopeful of a big win, Wally presses the firm to join a massive class action suit. It is basically without merit, and requires long hours of court time and personal sacrifice. The end result is disaster.

However, David finds himself learning law all over again in the streets and back alleys. He pursues a humanitarian and winnable legal case. Through David’s skillful machinations – and Grisham’s colorful, irreverent characters – we experience the thrill of pre-trial combat. Even when the script grows serious, the ambulance chasers will elicit chuckles.

The Last Word: Think You Cannot Write a Film Review?
Think again! The text below comes verbatim from the news at Yahoo.com on Tuesday, December 13, 2011:

Review: ‘Dragon Tattoo’ kicks proverbial butt

By DAVID GERMAIN | AP

Hollywood has commandeered Sweden’s big literary export, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” without compromising the story’s Scandinavian roots or its top-of-the-world, Seasonal Affective Disorder sense of barrenness, even hopelessness.

It could have been transplanted Stateside for American audiences, but thankfully, what happens in Sweden stays in Sweden in David Fincher’s stark but enthralling adaptation of the first novel in late author Stig Larsson’s trilogy….

For the next Writers Mail – maybe even your own take on the original novel The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, please send your stuff to Clayton. Thank you!

Good Words from Way Back
“I never think at all when I write. Nobody can do two things at the same time and do them both well.” –Don Marquis (1878-1937), a New York newspaper columnist, humorist, playwright, short-story writer, and poet who published the opinions of a cockroach known as Archy. Archy had been a poet himself in a previous life and communicated with Marquis by scampering over the typewriter keys while the columnist slept. For more, see http://donmarquis.com/. Thanks, Jerry!

December 6 Meeting: Sex in the City (Library)
Ten First-and-Third members plus guest Lisa McDougal ambled into the Alicia Ashman Branch Library’s community room for an evening of readings replete with sex scenes and more, including holiday cookies, Millie Mader’s rewrite of the ending for Chapter 30 of her novel Life on Hold, Chapter 1 of Kim Simmons’ fantasy novel City of Autumn, and . . . well, here’s what we covered, courtesy of the meeting’s scribe, Amber Boudreau:

Rebecca Rettenmund starts us off with a chapter from her Cheese Logue. Kim thinks the escaped curds are “cute” and enjoys Rebecca’s descriptions, which also are “cute” – but not in a trite way as Rebecca tells the story in such a familiar fashion. Pat Edwards thinks when Rebecca goes back to edit, she’ll get rid of extra words. But Pat she really likes the piece and thinks the best memoirs are the ones where the author opens up and shows themselves “curds and all.”

Liam Wilbur shares Chapter 5 of his novel Scott & Rory. Rebecca suggests having the teacher push the students to say something about their religion. Pat wonders how the main character would mature over time emotionally, especially as he keeps dying over and over. She suggests that there should be some explanation, perhaps hormones getting in the way. Jen Wilcher reminds members, “It’s only Chapter 5….” But others note, “Yes, it’s Chapter 5 and we should know more by now.” Could the main character reveal some personal details specific to the history he’s lived? Kim and Pat think the character should be a little jaded, and that there should be some world-weariness there, too. Jerry Peterson asks whether the character is worried about getting killed off again. Pat thinks that without the fantasy aspect, the story would make a good YA (young adult) novel. Greg Spry has questions about “the big picture” – including what the main character strives for and why — because the story so far seems disjointed.

Millie Mader reads a one-page edit of her last chapter. Pat thinks the chapter now has a much better ending. Jerry thinks the male character would not use the term “pregnancy.” Some members question a line or two, but think Millie definitely improved the chapter.

Kim Simmons reads Chapter 1 of The City of Autumn. Millie thinks the chapter is “really pretty writing” but she doesn’t know what’s going on. Does the story take place in a parallel universe or what? Pat doesn’t know either, but the reading only goes three pages deep, so she hopes she’ll understand soon. Also, Pat notes, the mist does a lot of hissing. Does the chapter need it? At this point, in this manner, it strays dangerously close to becoming trite and seems more like stage direction. Rebecca doesn’t know what’s going on either. Kim has to explain to all of us. Pat reminds us all that it’s only two pages. Jerry doesn’t know who to cheer for. The first character we’re introduced to is the bad guy, not the main character.

Greg Spry shares Chapter 15 of his science fiction novel Beyond Cloud Nine. Millie really likes the end of the chapter and how the main character opens up. Rebecca enjoys it too, but finds the exchange between sisters “a little hokey” in places. Judith McNeil enjoys the set up. Pat wonders whether the character is to the point where she admits she has a drug problem right away or denies it still. Pat also comments on Greg’s use of verb tense. Liam wonders whether the main character would get all flustered in front of dignitaries.

By the end of the evening, guest Lisa McDougal converted to member Lisa McDougal. She’s already written the manuscripts for three novels but lost one in a computer crash. Her email address is gurlnlifemagazine@yahoo.com There is a story there.

Thanks Amber!

Who’s Up Next?
December 13: Holly Bonnicksen-Jones (chapter, Coming Up for Air), Liam Wilbur (chapter, Fog-gotten), and Jack Freiburger (?). Note: This Second-and-Fourth meeting takes place at Sundance.

December 20: Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”), Aaron Boehm (story ideas), Millie Mader (Chapter 31, Life on Hold), Lisa McDougal (?), Pat Edwards (poems), and John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold). Note: This First-and-Third meeting takes place at the Alicia Ashman Branch Library. Who’s bringing the cookies?

January 3: Rebecca Rettenmund (Chapter 3, The Cheese Logue), Liam Wilbur (Chapter 6, Scott & Rory), Kim Simmons (?), Amber Boudreau (?), Lisa McDougal (?), and Jerry Peterson (Chapter 20, Thou Shalt Not Murder). Note: First-and-Third Group returns to Barnes & Nobel Westside.

January 31: Fifth Tuesday at Booked for Murder. Note: See below.

Everything You Need to Know: Upcoming Fifth Tuesday
We will return to Booked for Murder on January 31 for our next Fifth Tuesday gathering. Sara Barnes and our First-and-Third Group are hosting the event.

Here’s the writing challenge for the evening: Write a short short story, poem, film scene or essay with a two-word title. One of the words must be either “heart” or “hearts,” as in “Burning Hearts,” “Busted Hearts,” “Mending Hearts.” You get the idea. Hey, Valentine’s Day is coming. Write to your heart’s delight, but no more than 500 words, please.

Now to the heart of the matter: The person who writes the best piece, as judged by UW screen-writing instructor Chris DeSmet, wins a free critique by Chris of her or his first 50 pages plus dinner on the town with Chris.

To make this all happen – to pay the bill – there is a $5 entry fee. So grab your idea and start writing, then polish, polish, polish. You want to be the winner, right?

Deadline: January 27 with submissions and fee collectors to First-and-Third members to be determined.

One from Jerry . . .
Put our TWS Post-Christmas Party and Potluck on your calendar: January 7 – a Saturday – at 1:00 p.m. Marge and I are hosting you all at Marge’s Victorian mansion here in Janesville. Street address, 920 Glen.

Do car pool and help save the environment. And bring a game you’d like the group to play.

Please email us that you are coming. We want to be certain we have at least a three-legged stool in the chimney corner for you, or, better, a chair at the table.

Writer’s Mail: Duty Roster
We’re recruiting editors for Writer’s Mail because there are lots of months ahead until the stars wink out toward the end of 2012, at least according to the apocalyptic Mayan calendar.

December – Clayton Gill at your service!
January – Liam Wilbur resolves to take us into the New Year!
February – Leap into the role of Writers Mail editing.
March – Beware the Idas (“I’d have done it, except…”).
April – The coolest month, breeding writers out of the dead land….

So, please let this editor know you’ll volunteer: E-mail Clayton.

The Last Word: Every Gift Except
In 1906, Upton Sinclair (1878-1968) published The Jungle, a muckraking novel of the U.S. meat packing industry. Sinclair’s best-seller exposed the country’s lack of effective food safety regulation and contributed to the creation of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Over a period of more than 70 years, Sinclair wrote nearly 100 books (fiction, non-fiction, and drama), worked as a literary editor, and pursued a brief political career. But some found Sinclair a bit of a bore. A Time magazine book reviewer, reporting in 1957 on a memoir published by Sinclair’s wife, referred to Sinclair as “a man with every gift except humor and silence.”

An anthologized excerpt from The Jungle (titled “The Slaughter of the Pigs”) carried this foreword by Sinclair: “Anyone who reads these five thousand words will have his imagination stimulated, his sympathies widened, and his understanding of the world he lives in increased. At least, that is why (The Jungle) was written, and if it doesn’t happen there is something wrong with either you or with the author.”

Please send Clayton content for the next Writers Mail. Thank you!

“Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.” – W.J. Cameron

Tuesday at Barnes & Noble
One last visit to Barnes & Noble before the December shopping frenzy leaves us homeless! Good news, though – 2nd and 4th has permission to meet again this year in the upstairs section of Sundance Cinema (thanks, Aaron!). Don’t worry if you see the “section closed” sign at the bottom of the stairs – we’re allowed. Also, by way of thanks, please consider making a purchase from the Cafe. We will meet at Sundance Tuesday, December 13, and Tuesday, December 27.

Liam Wilbur was our first reader, presenting a new opening to Fog-gotten. While the information was vital to the story, most agreed that the original opening worked better, and that each section here would make a great scene/flashback, keeping up the fog appearances. Terry suggested starting with the military injury because the reader would wonder if this strange new place was simply a result of a brain injury. Carol thought a more current comparison to a Disney character should be Princess Jasmine instead of a minor character from one of the older classics. More people would recognize the reference.

Terry Hoffman rewrote a section of The Great Tome. Carol wanted her to create a sharper contrast between the news reporter’s real name and air name. “Linda” is kind of pedestrian in a world full of “Ashleys” and “Lindsays” (oh, and the new person on WKOW is “Amber.”) Jack provided a way for the book to actually work via quantum mechanics and the story of Schrodinger’s Cat, but what he really wants is for Rachel to wonder how the book works within her own knowledge base. Andrea pointed out that Rachel is doing a lot with her hands, but the reader isn’t getting any descriptions of touch. Also, start with the playful – messing with the newscasters, then move into the dark (God’s cruel joke) toward the end of the scene.

Carol Hornung read a reflective scene from Sapphire Lodge. There are a lot of colors in this scene, but not coming from Saffi. Use those colors as a parallel, create the tranquil scene, perhaps even invoke it. Have Saffi explore her own emotions for once, instead of interpreting everyone else’s. What color is her feeling for Finley? Terry liked the contrast between Jessica’s bright bohemian clothing and her dark, somber mood. Holly wanted some other senses, too – we’re loaded with visuals, but need some touch, sounds, smells.
Cole Ruby read a chapter from Champions. Jack and Katelin had many suggestions on how to work in the rituals of the Catholic church into the scene. Given Father Avol’s age, this should be closer to dawn than midnight, as he isn’t likely to be up late. Holly and Jack both thought the philosophy brought into the scene really elevates this story above typical urban fantasies. Andrea thought some of the sentences could be strengthened – too many commas. Jen said not to write that Mark “scolded himself,” but tell us HOW he scolded himself. What did he say?

Readers for Tuesday, December 13th – at SUNDANCE:
Holly Bonnicksen-Jones, Coming Up for Air
Liam Wilbur, The Fog-gotten
Jack Freiburger, (something)
If you’d like to read, let Carol know.

Fifth Tuesday
Fifth Tuesday will be here before you know it! Fun and Frivolity is planned from 7-9pm at Jack Freiburger’s place, Hickory Knoll Farm, 5438 Highway M, Fitchburg. His farm is a bit west of Highway 14 on County M, between Fitchburg and Oregon.
If you need help finding the place, call 212-0804.
Equine-themed stories are still needed! 250 words (one page) and send to Carol at chornung88@aol.com
If you haven’t already let us know you are coming, please do so now so we can have enough chairs set up!

Playwrights on Writing
Here’s a link to a collection of LA Times columns written by a variety of playwrights. Great information – even if you’re not a playwright.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/arts/la-et-playwrights-sg,0,2098795.storygallery

Do You Suffer From One of These Writing Maladies?
Posted: 21 Nov 2011 07:35 AM PST

(Part II)
The fall season of writing viruses is here. Watch out for these dangerous diseases!
Catching the Rye:
Well you probably first want to have read this book by J.D. Salinger with an immediately catchy voice that kind of spoke to a generation or some nonsense, and after you do that you may be corrupted with that voice in your head for some time if you want to know the truth of the matter. If you really want to think about it it’s already been done and anyway the guy who wrote it didn’t end up wanting to talk to anyone anymore and holed up in a house somewhere so that can’t have been good and you probably want to try and go and write your own voice so you’re not a phony.
Adverb Central:
“What do you mean I can’t use adverbs with dialogue tags?” Lucia asked questioningly.
“Just don’t do it,” Nathan replied testily.
“But why not?” Lucia asked quizzically.

Read the entire article at: http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2011/10/do-you-suffer-from-one-of-these-writing.html

GOODREADS POETRY CONTEST
Want your words to reach 4 million people? Goodreads and the ¡POETRY! group have partnered to host an ongoing poetry contest. Join the ¡POETRY! group to vote each month to pick a winner from among the finalists. You can also submit a poem for consideration. Here is our November winner!

My Mother Demonstrates How To Escape From A Plane Crash
by Collin Kelley (Goodreads Author)

Although she has never flown on an airplane, my mother sits on a low stone wall at the entrance to the cemetery and tells me she wanted to move to New York City and become a flight attendant. I am kneeling in green grass in front of a chest of drawers searching for socks not worn at the heel, the sky above us blue and tufted with motionless clouds.

My mother will die never having her stomach drop, never feel ears popping from the altitude, the heaviness that settles into limbs, the shallow breath that comes with thin re-circulated air, the way a body adapts to unnatural, human flight.

When she was a girl, a flight attendant was one of the most glamorous jobs in the world. The crisp uniform, jaunty hat, kid gloves and matching luggage all reeked of worldliness, something to benevolently hold over the heads of those other girls who spread legs instead of wings, invited high school sweethearts to climb aboard and permanently ground them.

In this place where I will bury her, my mother stands at attention, mended socks on her hands, and demonstrates the drill she learned from a manual: The exit doors at the front and rear of the plane, and with her arms outstretched as if poised to fly, the escape hatch over each wing.